


Hux of the New Republic

by ragdoll-hux (sparkinthedark)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Break Up, Child Abuse, Drinking, Fluff, Force Visions, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Character Death, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Pining, Reunions, Sleepy Kisses, Slow Burn, Space Battles, Torture, creepy Snoke, even more angst, the force as a means of torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-03-03 08:53:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13337748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkinthedark/pseuds/ragdoll-hux
Summary: AU. Hux was never rescued from the Arkanis Academy, and is found by the New Republic. Hux is raised in a loving home by a wonderful adopted family... the Organa/Solos.Leia crouched down next to Armitage, and the boy flinched when he saw her. “It's okay Armitage, my name's Leia, you are very safe here, no one will ever hurt you again.”





	1. Arkanis Imperial Academy

**Author's Note:**

> This is a classic what if I change just one thing AU. This first chapter describes the final hours of the Arkanis siege, and Armitage's rescue. As this chapter is mostly from Brendol Hux's pov there is mention of child abuse, so if you are uncomfortable with than then you can safely skip to the next chapter. Later chapters will include the Poe/Hux pairing, getting more adult as the characters get older. The explicit content will start in chapter 6.

Arkanis, 5 ABY

The Arkanis Imperial Academy is under siege. Former rebels, now calling themselves 'The New Republic' are at the gates, it won't be long until they're inside. The Academy's built in defenses are being picked off at an alarming speed, their garrison of stormtroopers won't last long and Commandant Brendol Hux is getting desperate. In a last ditch attempt to delay the inevitable, Hux is mustering the older students.

"This is the moment you've trained for," Hux says. The older students are standing in a line, armed and armoured and shaking with fear. "The rebel scum at the gates are attacking our home, they've killed our Emperor and now they're here for us. They expect us to surrender, they think they have us beaten, but we will not be beaten. We are The Empire, our weapons and armour are the best in the galaxy, but more than that, you have been trained by one of the best academies in the Empire. The rebel army is an army of vagrants and scoundrels, a volunteer army with no training and no loyalty. Every Imperial soldier is worth ten of the rebel scum, now get out there and show them why!"

The students gave a cheer and saluted their Commandant, but their fear is not extinguished. By the time the students made it outside to reinforce the stormtroopers, half of their forces had already fallen. Using the holofeed Hux tracked the progress of the battle, watching the under trained students fall one by one. Hux cursed loudly and threw his data pad across the room.

"Daddy?"

Hux turned sharply on his heel and glowered at his young son, Armitage, hiding in the doorway, peering nervously into the room.

"Get out of here, boy!" Hux snarled. He grabbed Armitage by the scruff of his neck and shoved him out of the room and onto the hard floor. Armitage made a short quiet sob and touched the blood streaming from his nose. Hux slammed his fist into the door control pad and shut the door without a second look at his son.

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose and went for his stash of Coruscant whiskey he'd been saving for a special occasion. The Academy was about to fall, his hard work about to be crushed by war criminals, his death close at hand. He knew what he had to do, he couldn't let himself be captured. He'd never stand up to questioning by these scum, and if the rumours were true and the rebels really did have a Jedi, then he truly had no hope. 

With shaking hands, Hux poured himself a very large glass of whiskey and drank it in one. Now slightly unsteady on his feet, Hux started to walk towards the kitchens where Armitage and his slut of a mother would undoubtedly be hidden, drawing his blaster pistol as he went. If he had to die to keep the Empire's secrets then he refused to go alone.

"Come out, I know you're in here," Hux announced when he got there, his voice loud but calm. Armitage's mother, the woman he foolishly slept with, the mistake that had dogged his life for the past five years, appeared from a storage room in the back of the kitchens.

"What have you done to my son?" she spat, rage in her eyes.

"The insolent boy entered my office, I just gave him a little shove, it's hardly my fault he's so soft," Hux replied. "In fact, that's your fault."

"Somebody has to love him, someone has to protect him from you! He's only Five!" She took a few steps forward, away from the storage room. She must have seen the blaster but she seemed unperturbed.

"Protect him? You think that's what you're doing?" Hux said, incredulous. "You've coddled him, you fucking kitchen slut, you've turned my son into a feeble, pathetic waste of space, cowering behind his mother. Because of you he'll never be fit to serve the Empire!"

"Your Empire is dead!" She yelled, and all of a sudden she had a knife in her hand. Hux raised his blaster, but before he could pull the trigger the knife was flying towards him. Taken off guard by the attack, and the surprising accuracy of the throw, he dodged a little too late and it caught him in the arm, slicing his shoulder. Hux yelled in anguish and shot her before he had time to think. Armitage's mother fell to the floor, a hole in her chest where her heart should have been.

Cursing loudly Hux grabbed a nearby med kit and started dressing his wound. He'd almost finished when he heard footsteps in the corridor outside. Hux picked up his blaster again and crept to the door. The rebels couldn't have breached the building already, they'd have been an alarm. No, this was something else. 

“Commandant Hux, I presume,” a smooth voice said from the shadows. 

“Who's there?” Hux asked, cautious.

“Grand Admiral Rae Sloane sent me to evacuate you,” the stranger said. Hux breathed a sigh of relief and lowered his weapon. 

“I thought they abandoned me here, left me for the rebels!” Hux said.

“We don't have much time, Commandant, come with me and I'll get you to safety.” With a curt nod Hux followed the stranger out of the back of the building and to a waiting shuttle, a non imperial shuttle, which Hux assumed would be easier to sneak off the planet.

–

Armitage Hux sat curled up at the back of the kitchen storage room, listening closely for any indication that father was still there. Mother had told him to stay hidden until father was gone, so that's what he would do. He hadn't heard any voices for a long time, he hadn't heard his mothers voice since that blaster sound. Five year old Armitage Hux knew fear, already he had grown used to it, but nothing could have prepared him for this. He knew something terrible must have happened, mother was so frightened when she left him here, she'd kissed him, told him she would always love him no matter what, and left to talk to father. Mother had not come back, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. 

An alarm blared, echoing all over the house, ringing in his ears, and Armitage sobbed, holding his hands over his ears and rocking backwards and forwards. The people attacking must have come in, father said they'd kill everyone if they got in. He tried to quiet his sobs so they wouldn't find him, but they just kept coming. 

The sound of heavy boots entered the kitchen. “Clear,” came a man's voice, loud enough to cut through the noise. “Shut that kriffing alarm off!” A few seconds later the alarm stopped, leaving a ringing in Armitage's ears. 

“That's better,” the man said more calmly. “We've got a body here but no hostiles.” 

“Rodger that, Sergeant,” came a voice on a radio. 

“Sergeant, can you hear that noise?” a different voice asked. Armitage pressed his hand over his mouth, desperate to conceal his sobs.

“I'm going to investigate, stay alert,” the first man said. The door to Armitage's hiding place opened slowly and a man's head appeared. “It's a kid, stand down.” the man said. 

Armitage tried to get further away from the door. “Please,” he sobbed, “don't kill me.”

The man knelt down in the doorway and slid his blaster away, then shushed him gently, a noise similar to that his mother made when he was upset. “It's okay, we're here to help.”

Armitage sniffed and wiped his nose, snot and blood staining his face. “I'm Kes,” the man said calmly, and inched towards him. “Kes Dameron, no one will hurt you anymore, I promise.” 

Kes Dameron's kindly face and gentle words made Armitage feel a little more comfortable, and he let down his guard a little. “R-really?” he asked, looking into the stranger's face and wanting to believe him. “Daddy said you were here to kill us all.” 

A flash of anger appeared on Kes's face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. “The New Republic doesn't hurt children,” he said adamantly. “What's your name sweetheart?”

“Armitage,” he replied, tentative, but feeling less afraid now. 

“Nice to meet you, Armitage,” Kes said, a small smile on his face.

“Where's mummy?” he asked. Kes looked over at something in the kitchen for a split second. Armitage sobbed again when he saw the look on Kes's face.

“I'm so sorry, Armitage,” Kes said, he'd moved much closer now. “We weren't quick enough to save her.” Armitage began to cry in earnest, no longer caring if it made him look weak. To his surprise Kes didn't shout at him, he simple gathered him up into his arms and made that comforting shushing noise again. After a long while Armitage had calmed down somewhat, and Kes picked him up. 

“We're going to take you somewhere safe,” Kes said softly. “Is that okay Armitage?” Armitage nodded and buried his face against Kes's shoulder, he didn't look up as he was carried through the kitchen. Ten minuets later they were on a shuttle, Kes had strapped him into a seat, and they were flying away from Arkanis. Armitage felt numb as he watched the planet get smaller through the window. 

–

Chandrila, 5 ABY

Leia Organa waited as the ships from the Arkanis attack landed safely on the New Republic's new capital, Chandrila. The mission had been a major success, and she wanted to be there personally to thank the troops for their hard work. Her friend, Shara Bey had suggested she wait inside where she could sit down, but Leia shrugged her off and insisted. She wasn't so pregnant that she couldn't stand outside to thank the brave troops of the New Republic. Shara had bought her three year old son, Poe, with her so that he could see his father upon his return. Sergeant Kes Dameron had led this mission, and Leia knew he'd been desperate to get back to his young family. 

As the ships were traveling through hyperspace, Leia had received word that a young boy had been rescued from the Academy, the son of Commandant Hux. This was the other reason she had insisted on joining the welcoming party. The report said they searched everywhere but never found the Commandant, alive or dead, he must have escaped somehow. Yet he hadn't taken his son. He'd been found in a storage room, terrified and alone, with a bloody nose. Her heart ached for the boy, thinking about what he must have been through made her feel sick, or maybe that was just the morning sickness. As an orphan herself, adopted by the most wonderful parents a girl could ask for, Leia wanted to help the boy. With their own son on the way, Han might need some convincing, but she wanted to do for this boy what Bail and Breha had done for her.

“Daddy!” Poe squealed in delight. He managed to wiggle free of Shara's hand and ran to his father. Kes lifted up his son and held him close, he inhaled the smell of his head and murmured something Leia couldn't hear. It was then she noticed the red haired child hiding behind Kes. 

“Armitage,” Kes said. He put an encouraging hand on the scared boy's shoulder. The boy took a step forward and looked curiously at Poe. Kes put his son down next to Armitage. “This is Poe. Poe, say hi to Armitage,” he said.

“Hi,” Poe said and hugged the new boy. Armitage froze, looking down at the younger boy in alarm. Kes went a little red in the face and gently pried his son away, and quickly apologised to Armitage. “Poe, Armitage isn't feeling very well, maybe you can play with him later?”

Poe, ever the cheerful toddler, said “okay daddy.” Shara came over just then to pick Poe up and kiss her husband, Poe waved at the new boy from his new vantage point.

Leia crouched down next to Armitage, and the boy flinched when he saw her. “It's okay Armitage, my name's Leia, you are very safe here, no one will ever hurt you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr!](http://ragdoll-hux.tumblr.com) I'd really appreciate any feedback, I'm going to hopefully make this a longish series and comments are super encouraging. Thanks for reading!


	2. Hosnian Prime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia arranges a meet and greet with senators of the New Republic, and some old friends from the alliance. Meanwhile, their children have a chance to catch up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place 5 years after the last one on the home world of the New Republic Senate, Hosnian Prime.

Hosnian Prime, 10 ABY 

Ten year old Armitage Hux was attending a function with his adoptive parents Han and Leia, and five year old brother Ben. Armitage didn't fully understand Leia's job, but he knew she was very important, and many important looking people had meetings with her regularly. Today was no exception. Armitage and Ben had been dressed in their best clothes and taken to a very beautiful building near the Galactic Senate. Adults everywhere were talking and mingling, and drinking a drink that when he asked Han for one he'd just patted him on the head and said “In a few years, kid.”

After that he'd been relegated to the children's table with his brother, and the other children of the politicians and dignitaries that had come to this event. There were quite a few children at the table, some he recognised, like the force sensitive half Twi-lek girl, Depa Syndulla, and some he didn't. But the only one he really cared about was the eight year old Poe Dameron. Armitage remembered playing with him at lot a few years ago, but since his parents had moved to Yavin 4 he didn't get to see him much anymore. Armitage liked Poe, and he'd missed the cheerful boy a lot. 

Before they left their apartments, however, Leia had sat him down and explained to him that while Poe will be at the function, he would unfortunately be feeling very sad. Leia had explained that Poe's mother had passed away quite recently, and while it would be nice if he could cheer Poe up, he shouldn't push too hard if Poe didn't want to play. 

“Hello Poe,” Armitage said, and slid into the chair next to his friend. He looked so much bigger than the last time he saw him, and the playfulness seemed to have all but disappeared. Seeing that made Armitage very sad. 

“Hi Armitage,” Poe replied glumly. 

“It's really good to see you again, I missed you,” Armitage said. “Have you met my brother Ben? He was only a baby the last time you were here.” Ben grinned and waved across the table, just happy to have been mentioned. 

“Hi Ben,” Poe said. He tried to smile at the younger boy but Armitage could see how much of an effort it was for him. 

“Hey, Ben,” Armitage said, suddenly struck by an idea. “Why don't you show Poe one of your little tricks!” Ben nodded enthusiastically, then scrunched up his face in concentration. A few pieces of the cutlery levitated off the table of their own accord, and as Poe watched in amazement they started spinning around. A few seconds later Ben lost his concentration and everything dropped to the floor with a crash. Poe laughed and clapped his hands. Armitage smiled, pleased to have found a way to make Poe less sad, even for a short time. 

“Do you want to go outside and play star fighters?” Armitage asked. “I thought you could be the a-wing, if you wanted.” He then produced a small model a-wing from his pocket and put it in front of Poe. Poe smiled and picked up the toy. “Okay.”

Armitage held Poe's hand and started to lead him towards the gardens so they could play with the stars as a backdrop. They had only made it half way across the function room when Han blocked their path.

“Where are you two going?” Han asked. He didn't look angry, only amused. 

“We were going to play star fighters outside,” Armitage replied. He looked at Han with what he hoped was a challenge in his eyes and didn't let go of Poe's hand. Han put his hands up in mock surrender and grinned at the boys. 

“Aw man, I wish I could go play star fighter, but Leia doesn't like it when I disappear at these things,” Han said. He genuinely looked a bit put out. “Have fun boys, if you're not back in an hour I'll come and find you.” 

With that Poe and Armitage carried on towards the gardens with renewed purpose, they didn't want to be interrupted again. Outside the function hall was a patio filled with more talking adults, so they carried on down the steps and onto the grass where they could play in peace. 

“I bought an x-wing for me to play with, but we can swap if you like,” Armitage said. Poe shrugged and examined his a-wing. “I like the a-wing better,” Poe said.

“You could chase me and try and shoot me down,” Armitage said.

“Why would an a-wing shoot at an x-wing?” Poe asked, genuinely confused. “They're on the same team!”

Armitage frowned, this wasn't something he'd thought of when selecting the toys he wanted to bring with him. “Maybe mine is a bad x-wing!” He said triumphantly, pleased to have come up with something.

“A bad x-wing?” Poe gasped, as if he'd never heard anything so strange. 

“Yeah! I've gone rogue and you need to take me down,” Armitage said, running with the idea. “I've stolen the ship and no one can stop me.”

Armitage made engine sound effects as he flew his ship past Poe. Poe took up his a-wing and gave chase, he added some blaster sound effect and chased Armitage's x-wing around the garden.

–

After Han's run in with the boys, off to play 'star fighter' they had said, he tried to mingle with some of the politicians that Leia had told him were very important. But after a few minuets he lost track of the conversation and his mind began to wander. As politely as he could manage he excused himself and went to find another glass of champagne. 

With a fresh drink in hand he scanned the room, looking for anyone he knew, someone he might actually want to talk to, and spotted a familiar Twi-lek woman. General Hera Syndulla, a retired alliance hero, was talking happily with a few pilot types. Some of the little group looked too young to have fought alongside her in the war, probably up and coming new pilots, hoping some of her legend would run off on them. 

“General Syndulla,” Han said. He beamed when he caught her eye. The young pilots look at him agog. “Nice to see you again.” He kissed her cheek in greeting. 

“Han, I was going to say hello earlier, but you were with some politicians so I had to steer clear,” Hera said, and gave a little chuckle.

“Can't blame you for that, I only just escaped myself!” Han Laughed. He knew they shared a similar scepticism when it came to when it came to some of these new senators. Deep down they were both just pilots, not cut out for politics.

“There's something important I want to talk to you about actually,” Hera said, “If you'll excuse us.” 

Hera steered Han away from the small group of young, disappointed looking, pilots and out onto the patio. 

“What's up?” Han asked, his curiosity peeked. 

“I know you thought you were lying when you said the Ghost was better than the Falcon,” Hera said. Han snorted. “But it's true, it is!” Han burst out laughing. Upon seeing the serious look on Hera's face he doubled over and laughed even harder. When he resurfaced and wiped his eyes Hera was laughing too. 

“That was the important thing?” Han asked.

“Yeah. I just wanted to get away from those young pilots, they're a bit needy,” Hera said with a shrug. Han nodded in agreement. Being a big alliance hero had not been all it was cracked up to be. Han noticed Hera didn't have a drink in her hand, so he scooped up a glass from a passing server and gave it to her. They drank in companionable silence, looking out over the garden. He noticed Armitage, his adopted son, playing with Poe on the grass. 

When Leia had first bought home the terrified looking five year old, Han had been very sceptical. But Leia had told him how important it was to her that they help the boy, and Han couldn't say no. It had taken months for Armitage to even talk to them, beyond a few words here and there where necessary, and Han was worried they'd never get through to him. He knew Armitage was traumatized, he'd heard the story of how they'd found him, but he didn't know what to do. 

But with the help of the best physiologists in the New Republic, and with Han and Leia's gentle encouragement, he began to come out of his shell. Kes Dameron, the man who had been the one to find Armitage, had visited at lot in those first few years. He always bought his son Poe with him so that Armitage would have someone to play with. Whenever Poe was around Armitage seemed a lot happier, the two boys had a special connection, and Han was glad to see it. 

Armitage would still get nightmares, of course. He'd wake up in the middle of the night with a yell, or a sob, that he quickly stifled. Han and Leia made sure that one of them always went to him, to calm him and to tell him he was safe and loved, that it was okay to be sad, and to tuck him back in when he had calmed down. Han had grown to love the boy as much as his own son. 

As they watched, Armitage yelled, “Oh no, I've lost an engine! I'm going down!” and threw his toy nose first into the grass. Poe cheered and ran around Armitage, brandishing his toy, both boys laughing. Han smiled, feeling proud of Armitage, he seemed to know exactly how to get the grieving Poe to open up without pushing too hard, a rare talent. 

“I didn't think we'd see Poe smiling today, that poor boy,” Hera said after a while. 

“Yeah,” Han replied, “the kid's been through a lot.”

“It's good he has a friend like your boy,” she said. 

They watched a little longer, the boys had stopped playing now and were talking quietly to each other. Armitage then gave the younger boy a brief hug, and led him to a bench where they could talk. Han thought about going to check on them, but he had said he'd give them an hour, and he figured Armitage could handle it for a while longer.

“We should probably go check on Ben and Depa,” Han said. He'd just remembered he'd left the two force sensitive children together, that was just asking for trouble.

“Oh Kriff,” Hera cursed, “they'll have torn up the place by now.” 

–

When Armitage threw his x-wing into the grass and Poe had cheered, he felt very happy. He lost his mother too and he knew how much that hurts. To have taken Poe's mind off that pain for a little while had been wonderful. But now the game was over the younger boy looked sad again. He was staring at the a-wing in his hand.

“Mommy flew one just like this,” Poe said. Tears were starting to form in his eyes. “She let me fly with her sometimes.”

“I'm sorry,” Armitage replied, his tone now much more subdued. “It won't hurt this much forever, I promise.”

Poe nodded, and the first of the tears fell from his eyes. Armitage hugged him tight, then took his hand and led the younger boy to a bench they could sit on. Poe continued to cry and Armitage held his hand and let him. When Poe had started to clam down again, Armitage thought of something Leia had once told him, it might help Poe too.

“Leia told me that when you lose someone, they join the force so they can watch over you.” Armitage said. Poe nodded and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “Dad said that too,” Poe replied. 

They sat together quietly after that, just looking up at the night sky. Armitage thought about the force, he wondered if their mothers really were watching over them. He hoped so.


	3. Yavin 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia and Han take their family on holiday to visit the Damerons on Yavin 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hux is 15 and Poe is 13 in this chapter, and _feelings_ are starting to brew.

Millennium Falcon, 15 ABY

It was the five year anniversary of her friend Shara Bey's passing, and Leia has chosen to take her family to visit Shara's family. She wanted to check on Kes and Poe without the use of the holo, and pay her respects to her friend. Besides, they all needed a break from the capital and Yavin 4 was a wonderful place to get away from city life. The planet held some very special memories for her and Han, and she was looking forward to seeing it again now the war was over. 

Another reason Yavin 4 was a good idea was Armitage. The teenager hadn’t seen much of Poe in the last five years, as he and his father had only made a couple of visits to the capital, but they had been in near constant contact over the holonet. Recently they had even taken to holo calling each other every night. When Poe didn't reply to his messages for a whole day he'd get very grumpy, causing him to lash out at her and Han, and sometimes even Ben. Leia understood this was just teenage angst, and she hoped that two weeks spent with Poe would improve Armitage's mood. She has tried to ask Armitage about the nature of their relationship, but he insisted that they were just friends. 

Armitage was also having trouble at school. He seemed to have few friends, and he never wanted to talk about his day. Eventually, with some gentle prying and deduction on her part, Leia had figured out what was going on. His class mates had discovered his imperial heritage. This had made him an easy target for bullies, as many of the children pushed their fear and hatred of the old Empire onto him. Leia had told him once that she would talk to his teachers about it, but Armitage had begged her not to. It pained her greatly to see him suffer, but she didn't know what else to do. Defeating the Empire now seemed easy by comparison. 

The trip from Hosnian Prime to the Yavin system was a long one, and although Leia had access to a luxurious private yacht, Han had insisted they travel on the Falcon. Leia had rolled her eyes at the suggestion, but she'd allowed it. Han had been missing the Falcon terribly and if she had to spend a few days cooped up on that old rust bucket to make him happy, then she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Unfortunately the boys weren't as happy about travelling on the Falcon as she and Han were, because they had to share a bunk bed. They'd been getting along just fine when they we're younger, but Ben's growing powers and Armitage's grumpy teenage stage had put a strain on their relationship. The confined space had made everything worse. 

“Go away!” Armitage yelled, as if on cue. Leia stopped drowsing and was now fully alert. A few seconds later she heard a crash. Leia sighed, resigned to having to sort out another argument, and went to find the boys. When she got to the living quarters she was surprised to see Armitage sprawled on the floor, his expression somewhere between shock and rage. 

“What. Happened?” Leia asked in the sternest voice she could muster. Both boys started talking at once so Leia had to shush them. “One at a time.”

“He stole my data pad!” Armitage shrieked. Then awkwardly picked himself up off the floor.

“He wouldn't play with me,” Ben protested. 

“I don't want to play with you, you little shit,” Armitage spat. His ears were now bright pink. “I want to talk to Poe.”

“Wait,” Leia said, “so how did you end up on the floor?”

“He was going to hit me,” Ben whined. 

“I was not!” Armitage insisted.

“You used the force on your brother?” Leia rounded on Ben, her hands on her hips. “How many times do I have to tell you, Ben? You should never use the force to hurt people.”

Ben hung his head in shame. “I'm sorry mommy,” he said.

“And?” Leia asked. She glared at Ben until he said, quietly, “I'm sorry Armie.”

“Whatever,” Armitage said.

“Go sit with your father in the cockpit and think about what you've done. Your in a lot of trouble,” Leia told Ben. With that that Ben shuffled out of the room. Leia sighed again, she'd been doing a lot of that lately, and sat down at the Dejarik table next to Armitage. The teenager stared at the floor and refused to look at her. 

“Are you hurt?” Leia asked. 

“No,” Armitage snapped. Then more softly, “My side really hurts.”

“Let me see,” Leia said. Armitage agreed to let her look, so Leia helped him remove his shirt to assess the damage. She gasped when she saw the beginnings of an enormous bruise all down his left side. She pressed it experimentally and Armitage hissed and shrank away. This wasn't just a light push, Ben must have thrown him into the bulkhead. In silence Leia picked up a medkit and covered the bruise with bacta gel. Armitage hissed again but he didn't complain. When she was done she helped him put his shirt back on, then kissed the top of his head.

“He shouldn't have done that,” Leia said at last. Armitage just shrugged his right shoulder and continued to stare at the floor. “Armitage, look at me.”

Armitage sighed deeply and looked over at Leia. She looked back with as much sincerity as she could muster. “I need to know exactly what happened.”

“I was talking to Poe,” Armitage began. “Ben kept asking me to play with him, but I didn't want to so I ignored him. He wouldn't stop bothering me so I told him to go away, then next thing I knew my data pad was flying through the air. When I tried to get it back he threw me against the damn wall!”

“So you weren’t going to hit him?” Leia asked, just to make sure. 

“No! I just wanted my data pad back,” Armitage whined.

“Good, because we've talked about how bad it is to hit people.” Leia said. 

“So it's only okay when people hit me.” Armitage's words felt like a knife through her heart. He looked like he was about to cry. Leia cupped his cheeks in her hands and turned his face to look at her.

“No,” she said vehemently, “never.” Armitage's lower lip wobbled and tears started to fill his eyes. Leia held him close, he had grown so tall now that he had to bend over to rest his head on her shoulder. She stroked his hair and made a gentle shushing noise, but otherwise let him cry. After a while he stopped and pulled away, and rubbed angrily at his eyes. 

“I'm so sorry, darling,” Leia said, “This thing with Ben, I'm going to sort it out, I promise.” Armitage nodded. 

“And just think, we'll be at Yavin soon and you'll get to see Poe.” That managed to bring a smile to his face.

–

Yavin 4, 15 ABY

Armitage couldn't stop fidgeting for the last few hours of the journey, he needed to get off this ship and away from Ben. After the incident with the data pad he'd been trying to avoid the boy at all costs, but on a ship as small as the Falcon that was very difficult. But more importantly, he needed to see Poe. He'd not seen his friend in the flesh for almost a year, and although they spent at lot of that time regular contact, it wasn't the same. He'd already gone to the cockpit four times to ask Han if they were nearly there, and he could tell he was getting annoyed.

They finally landed in the early evening local time, and were greeted by Kes and Poe waiting on the landing strip outside. Armitage grinned when saw Poe standing there, and immediately rushed to hug him. As Poe clung to him he felt a fluttering sort of feeling in his stomach. Kes coughed slightly awkwardly and that bought them back to their senses. 

“It's really nice to see you all,” Kes said, beaming, “thanks for coming all the way out here.” 

“No trouble at all, the Falcon can get us anywhere,” Han said, brimming with pride. Leia rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. 

“Dad, can I take Armitage to see the ship?” Poe asked.

“Sure, of course,” Kes said. 

“Can I come too?” Ben asked. Armitage's face twitched in annoyance. Poe touched his arm and gave him a questioning sort of look. He had told Poe everything about Ben, including what had happened on the ship, so he knew Poe would understand why he didn't want Ben to go with them.

“I don't think so, Ben,” Leia said. “You're in trouble remember.” 

“Come on Tage, it's a really great ship, you'll love it,” Poe chimed in. With that Poe grabbed his hand and they set off towards the garage. 

Yavin 4 was a very sparsely populated planet, and because of this the land attached to Poe's house was enormous. There must have been an attempt to keep the land tidy at some point, but now the vast forest was starting to take over once more. 

“I can't believe you're here!” Poe exclaimed. He couldn't stop smiling, and he had still not let go of his hand. Armitage suddenly became very aware of how sweaty his hand was. “And for two whole weeks!” he went on.

Armitage smiled at the other boy's excitement. When they got to the garage all Armitage could see was giant tarpaulin. Poe started trying to pull it off without success, but with Armitage's help they managed to remove the tarpaulin and revealed the a-wing. 

“Awesome. You can really fly this?” Armitage asked, impressed. 

“Yep,” Poe said, beaming with pride. “Dad said I'm really good.”

“Are you going to the academy when your old enough?” Armitage asked. 

“That's the plan!” Poe exclaimed. “I can't believe your going next year, are you excited?”

“Yeah,” Armitage said. “A little nervous as well.”

“You'll do great, your so smart,” Poe said, with an encouraging smile. He then took something out of his pocket and passed it to him. Armitage examined the toy a-wing, and he recognised it as the toy he had given Poe all those years ago.

“It looks just like it, doesn't it?” Poe said, as we looked back at the real a-wing.

“You kept it?” Armitage asked, stunned. “All this time?”

-

Later that night, after a wonderful, yet overly spicy, dinner, Leia was settling in to one of the spare rooms with Han. Ben was already asleep in the room next door, and Armitage was probably still up talking to Poe. They'd bought a spare mattress into Poe's room for Armitage to sleep on. Leia was reading some reports on her data pad when Han came out of the shower. 

“These bath robes are pretty great,” Han announced. Leia snorted with laughter. 

“The scoundrel Han Solo loves a fluffy bath robe,” Leia giggled.

“Leia listen,” Han said. Leia tensed at the change of tone, she knew what was coming. He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently pried her data pad away from her. “We need to talk about Ben.”

“I know.” Leia sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“We're out of our depths here Leia.” Han said. “I love our boy but I don't know how to help him. The way he's been acting out, it would have been fine for a normal kid, we could handle that, but this.” Han waved his hands around, gesturing to the empty space. “With the force. I don't know what to do.”

“You're right. He's only ten years old and he can already use the force to throw people around.” Leia put her head in her hands. “We're failing him Han.”

Han reached out and took Leia's hands in his own. “I know you don't like it, but Luke said he could teach him. Help him control his abilities. I sure as hell can't.”

“I don't want to send him away. Armitage is going to the Academy next year, and now-” Leia trailed off. She was on the verge of tears, but managed to pull herself back. Everything Han was saying made perfect sense, but she didn't have to like it. “I have this horrible feeling that if we send him away he'll never come back.”

“We trusted Luke with our lives in the war, we can trust him to take care of our son. He'd never let anything happen to him.” Leia didn't trust herself to speak, so she just nodded. 

\--

When Poe woke up the next morning to find Armitage asleep on the floor next to him, his heart skipped a beat. He smiled to himself, and spent a few minuets just watching him sleep. It had been almost a year since he had seen Armitage in the flesh, and he was even more beautiful than he remembered. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, his face slack and free of worry, his golden eyelashes catching in the morning sunlight.

“Morning,” Armitage said, his voice rough with sleep. 

“Morning,” Poe replied. “Dad said he'd make us some flatcakes this morning. Then we could go for a fly. The a-wing only has one seat so we can't take that but dad has a shuttle we can borrow. It's not as fast of course but it's still pretty cool.”

“Really?” Armitage asked. “You're allowed to fly on your own?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Poe said. 

 

After a hurried breakfast Poe told his father where they were going and they raced out to the landing strip. Poe opened up the ship and climbed into the pilot's seat, then started up the engine. Armitage sat next to him and watched him work. 

“Do you need me to do anything?” Armitage asked, eyeing the co-pilot controls in front of him.

“Nope, just strap in and watch the magic happen,” Poe said with a laugh. 

“You're very confident I'm going to be impressed,” Armitage replied, and laughed too. Poe buckled himself in and took up the controls. Without much effort on his part he took off and climbed high into the sky, the forest getting smaller and smaller beneath them. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Armitage watching him intently. 

Once they had reached an acceptable hight Poe caught Armitage's eye and grinned. “What to see a trick?” he asked.

“Hell yes,” Armitage said.

“Hold tight!” Poe banked the ship hard to the left, then bought it into a barrel roll. Armitage squeaked in surprise, and Poe cheered. He could hear his blood pumping in his ears. Poe took the ship higher, gathered some speed, then bought it into a nose dive. Armitage was laughing now, but as they got nearer to the ground he starting protesting. 

“Poe, pull up!” Armitage said in a panic. Poe smiled, waited till the very last minuet, and pulled the ship back up. “Kriffing hell,” Armitage cursed, slightly out of breath.

After almost an hour of flying, and frankly showing off, Poe took the ship back down to the landing pad. 

“That was insane,” Armitage said, in awe. “You're amazing.”

Poe, swept along in the moment, and running on adrenalin, lent over and gave Armitage a quick kiss. His lips were warm, and soft just like he'd imagined. When he pulled away Armitage looked surprised, and his cheeks were bright red. After a split-second of awkwardness Armitage broke into a smile, the best smile Poe had seen in his life.

–

Ben had only been on Yavin for a day and he already hated it. It was too hot, the insects were terrifying, and there was nothing to do. His parents and Poe's father had insisted on taking him for a hike, so they could go and see the old rebel base. When they had got there it was more of the same, boring, and covered in weird insects. But as they entered the pyramid Ben sensed something, a familiar scratching type of feeling at the base of his skull, like something was trying to get out. There was an energy to the place, it was calling to him, and it made him feel empty. Ben didn't know how to explain it. 

“Ben?” Leia called across the hall. He must have stopped walking when he sensed the indescribable thing. Leia frowned at him and walked back over. “Are you feeling okay darling?” she asked.

When his mother started talking to him the feeling almost completely disappeared, so he said he was fine and kept walking. Leia looked confused for a second, and Ben wondered if she'd felt it too. Then she just shrugged and carried on as if nothing had happened.

 

Back at the house they stopped for a moment next to an odd looking tree just outside. Kes explained to them that it was a force tree, and that uncle Luke had given it to them. Ben focused on the tree and felt a warm glowing feeling, nothing like the scratching feeling he had felt back at the pyramid. Kes and his father went back inside, leaving Ben and his mother alone with the tree. 

“Can you feel it?” she asked. Ben nodded. She sat down on the ground in front of the tree and crossed her legs, and Ben did the same. They did this from time to time, meditating his mother had called it.

“Close your eyes, and clear your mind,” Leia said softly. “Breath deeply.”

Ben did his best. “Now focus on the tree,” she said. Ben reached out with the force. He sensed the tree, every branch and every leaf, the roots spreading out underneath him, and felt calm. He tried to reach out a bit further, to try and sense other trees, and the scratching feeling began to return. He tried to breath deeply, to focus on just the force tree again, but he couldn't find that calmness again.


	4. New Republic Naval Academy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage joins the academy and is missing Poe, Ben joins Luke's new Jedi school, and Leia worries.

New Republic Naval Academy, 16 ABY

It was Armitage's first day at the Academy, and he was feeling very nervous. He hadn't spent more than a few nights apart from his family since, well since the last time he was at an Academy. He shuddered at the thought, and quickly quashed the memories of his birth father, lest he linger on them for too long and start to panic. 

The truth was, as much as he loved Han, Leia, and even Ben, he was excited to see what he could accomplish on his own. He'd always been at the top of his class in academic subjects, but there were other things he would have to learn if he were to succeed here. Over the last year he'd been trying to build up his physical fitness, with running and press ups, and all the things he had read he would need to be doing. He had even tried to learn a bit of sparing with Han, but a smuggler's advice in hand-to-hand combat was probably not particularly helpful.

He looked around his tiny new room that would be his home for the next three years. In the Imperial Academies of old the students would be crammed into rooms with many other students, but the Republic was different. They believed in the importance of giving each student a place of their own, a place they could work in peace and spend some time alone. Armitage couldn't say how much he appreciated that. 

The room was very sparsely decorated. Aside from the furniture that came with the room, a single bed, a desk and chair, a notice board, and a small cupboard, there wasn't really much else in there. He had read that bringing lots of personal items would be frowned upon, and insisted that Leia stop buying him things 'for his new room'. Although she had somehow managed to sneak in a nice lamp for his desk when she and Han were helping him move in this morning. The only personal items he cared about bringing where photos. His notice board was now partially covered with them, photos of his family, of his trip to Yavin, and of Poe. 

Thinking of Poe, he decided call him on the holo. After a few minuets a tiny holo version of Poe was beaming up at him from his desk. 

“Hi, Tage!” holo Poe said. “Can't believe you're at the Academy already, you're so lucky.”

“I wish you were here with me,” Armitage replied. 

“Me too,” Poe agreed. “Just think, in two more years I'll be there too, and then we'll spent three years living in the same place!”

“Poe, I won't be here for five years, it'll only be three,” Armitage said with a frown.

“What are you talking about? Officers training is an extra two years, remember!” Poe said, as if that was the most obvious thing in the galaxy.

“I never said anything about officers training.” Armitage was getting more confused.

“But you're so smart, smarter than anyone I know, there's no way they wouldn't recommend you for it,” Poe grinned. He sounded very confident, but Armitage wasn't convinced. He hadn't even attended his first class yet, or his first training session, there was no way to know if he had what it takes.

“I don't know,” Armitage said, “I don't even know if I'll make it through basic training.”

Poe shook his head, undeterred. “You can do this, Tage. You're tough, a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for.”

“Tough?” Armitage snorted, incredulous. “You've seen how skinny I am.”

“You don't have to be a big meathead gym guy to be tough, you're tough in here,” Poe pointed to his head, “and that's a whole lot more important.”

Armitage smiled at the holo Poe and sighed. “When did you get so wise, Poe Dameron?”

“Oh, I've always been wise, you just didn't notice,” Poe said. Then they both started laughing.

-

New Jedi Order, 16 ABY

The first night Ben had spent at Luke's new academy he'd cried himself to sleep. He knew that his parents were getting annoyed at him, but he never thought for a minute that they'd send him away. When they left they had said things like 'we love you', 'you'll be fine' and 'uncle Luke will look after you' but non of that made him feel any better. 

The scratchy feeling in his head had been getting worse, and he found himself getting angry without any particular reason. The meditations that he and Luke did together, the ones meant to calm him, only made him more tense, he could just never reach that stage of tranquillity that Luke was looking for. Luke had told him that he could tell him anything, and he could help him if there was anything wrong, but Ben never knew how to explain it. Maybe he was just angry at his parents and reading too much into it. 

Aside from the meditation, Ben's powers were improving quickly. Before he could only move things for a short amount of time, now he could float things around for a lot longer. It took a lot of concentration, and made Ben very tired, but he was getting better. Uncle Luke said that he'd soon be ready to find his first kyber crystal. The thought of that spurred him on to train harder than ever. He still missed his parents though, he even missed Armitage, despite the arguments they had, and he was beginning to feel lonely.

“Are we ever going to have more students here?” Ben had asked one night over dinner. 

“Of course,” Luke said. He smiled at his nephew. “There must be hundreds of force sensitive children out there, thousands even, we just need to find them.”

Ben sighed and began to pout. “Will that take very long?”

“What's wrong, Ben?” Luke asked, “you seem down.”

“It's too quiet here, there's nothing to do.” Ben complained.

“I see,” Luke said. “Well what about a hobby? Something you could do outside of your training.”

“I suppose,” Ben said. 

“Well have a think and we'll see what we can do,” Luke responded. He patted Ben's shoulder in what he probably thought was an encouraging manner. “And don't worry, we'll find some new students soon, you won't be alone long.”

–

The _Mirrorbright_ , 16 ABY

The _Mirrorbright_ was Leia's personal transport, a ship designed to assist her in her senatorial duties whenever she had to go off planet. It was bright and luxurious, and after years spent travelling aboard the _Falcon_ it felt practically obscene. It had enough space for all her staff, and a comfortable office for her to work and make calls in. This call, however, wasn't strictly of the work variety.

“I know they'll be fine, Han, but I still worry about them,” Leia snapped at the holo of her husband.

“I miss the boys too Leia, but you need to stop worrying,” Han replied calmly. 

“Are you sure we did the right thing with Ben?” Leia sighed deeply. “The last time he called he sounded so miserable.”

“I know, but if there's anyone who can get through to him it's Luke,” Han insisted.

“You're probably right,” Leia admitted.

“I'm sorry, what was that?” Han smirked.

“I said you're right.” Leia repeated. Han started to chuckle to himself. “Han!”

“Sorry dear, just savouring the moment. 'Han is right', what a day!” Han looked all too pleased with himself. Leia rolled her eyes.

“Goodbye Han,” Leia said, as her hand hovered over the end call button.

“I love you,” Han said.

“I know,” Leia replied, and ended the call.

–

New Republic Naval Academy, 16 ABY

Armitage's first few weeks had been gruelling, the academic work had been going very well, but he was not as prepared for the physical side. The blaster training had been okay, but the hand-to-hand was the stuff of nightmares. He had to find someone to train with, someone who could help him improve, someone who wouldn't take him out in a few seconds and move on. He needed a friend. 

Luckily, the other students had not got wind of his imperial heritage, which would make his search for a helpful sparing partner that much easier. In his Naval Theory class he spotted a muscular boy he recognised from sparring, and it looked like he was struggling. His brow was knitted in frustration and he kept looking around the room, as if to check if anyone else was struggling too. At the end of class Armitage cornered the boy.

“Hi, I'm Armitage, Armitage Hux,” he said to the boy, “I think we're in the same sparring group.”

“Oh yeah, the skinny kid,” the boy said bluntly. Armitage flushed, irritated.

“Well, yes, I guess so,” Armitage answered, “sparing isn't really my strong suit.” 

“You can say that again.” He was starting to get annoyed by the boy's attitude. “Did you want something?” The boy asked.

“I couldn't help but notice you looked quite stressed in class just then,” Armitage told him. “Maybe I can help?”

“Why would you so that?” The boy frowned.

“Well if I help you with the class work, then maybe you could help me improve my sparring.” Armitage explained.

“A favour for a favour then.” The boy seemed to think about for a second, then said, “I'm game.”

Armitage let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in. “Excellent.”

“The name's Rex, by the way, Rex Yalland,” Rex told him. 

“Nice to meet you Rex,” Armitage said. He stuck out his hand and smiled brightly when Rex shook it.

 

That evening Armitage went to spar with his new sparring partner. Rex was a lot bigger than him, so he was pretty nervous. He just hoped he'd actually spend time teaching him, not just knock him to the floor repeatedly. Armitage got there early, just to be sure, and changed into his gym kit. When Rex came into the room he was already dressed for sparring.

“You look better without all that gel in your hair,” Rex commented casually. 

“Thanks,” Armitage said, “I think.”

“Okay, let's do this,” Rex said. “Let's see your stance.” Armitage raised his fists, and Rex rolled his eyes.

“You need to spread your weight, put your legs further apart.” Rex told him. “Your hands are all wrong too, here-” Rex took Armitage's wrists in a strong grip, and moved them to where he saw fit. “Better.”

The session went on much the same way for almost an hour, and Armitage was getting exhausted. Every time he tried a new move Rex just rolled his eyes and corrected him. When Rex suggested that he demonstrate some take downs, Armitage was already flushed and sweaty, but he agreed. Rex showed him a few different ways to take people down, and demonstrated them on him. To Armitage's surprise he did everything slowly and gently, making sure he knew exactly what was happening during each step. 

“Did you get all that?” Rex asked, while still holding him to the floor. 

“I think so,” Armitage said. His voice was slightly muffled by the training mat. 

“It's a very effective hold, see,” Rex told him, “try to move.”

Armitage tried to move and found himself completely immobilised, completely at Rex's mercy. His heart started racing, he couldn't catch his breath, that old feeling of fear had come up from the depths to swallow him whole. Rex jumped off him in alarm.

“Kriff!” Rex cursed, “are you okay?”

Armitage curled up on his side and hugged his knees, then took some deep steadying breaths. He practised the mantra his therapist had taught him as a child. _You're okay, you're safe, it's over._ “I'm,” he gasped, “I'm fine.”

“Like hell you are,” Rex said, aghast. “I'm taking you to the nurse.” 

“No!” Armitage yelled. Then softer, “no.” He took a few more second to steady himself, then carefully got to his feet. Rex rushed over with a chair for him to sit on. 

“Are you sure you don't need the nurse?” Rex asked with a frown.

“I'm okay,” Armitage said weakly. Rex picked up Armitage's water bottle and handed it to him.“Thanks,” he said, then gulped down half of the bottle. He was starting to feel a lot better. 

“Here, eat this,” Rex said, and handed him a protein bar. Armitage didn't have time to think about where it came from before he was tearing it open. Rex watched him eat the whole thing. “If you won't let me take you to the nurse, at least let me take you back to your room.”

“Okay, yeah, that would be good,” Armitage said. “Thank you.” 

 

Back in his room Armitage was feeling a little better. He hadn't had an attack like that in years, why did it have to happen now? Just as things were starting to go so well. He took a few more deep breaths and forced himself not to cry. The only one he wanted to talk to was Poe. He covered himself in his blanket, and reached for his data pad. Poe answered his holo call in record time. 

“Tage, are you okay?” Poe asked. He sounded worried. He must have looked as bad as he felt.

“I found someone to practice sparring with,” Armitage said. Poe's face on the holo hardened. He smiled at his protectiveness, and shook his head. “No, it's not like that, he was nice to me, it's just-” He swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“What happened?” Poe prompted.

“I had another panic attack,” he said.

Poe gasped. “I'm so sorry, Tage. Are you okay?” 

Armitage nodded even as tears started to form in his eyes. “I wish I could be there to hold you,” Poe said. He sounded desperately sad. 

“Me too,” Armitage said between the sobs. He wrapped his arms around himself and pretended they were Poe's. 

“He can't hurt you any more, people care about you, people love you, you're safe,” Poe soothed. Armitage let Poe's voice wash over him, and it made him feel calmer.

“Maybe you should call Leia,” Poe suggested. “She's on the planet, right?”

Armitage shook his head. “She's on some sort of diplomatic mission,” he said. “I don't even know where.” 

“Oh,” Poe said. “Well you can stay on with me as long as you need, even if you can't think of anything to say, I won't go anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise if there are any inaccuracies in the panic attack scene.


	5. Flight School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Armitage are finally together, and able to see each other every day. Ben trains with Luke and his fellow Padawan learners.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't that long, but it took longer than usual as I spent far too much time researching bo staff fighting. Enjoy!

New Republic Flight School, 18 ABY

Poe loved his father, he loved his home, and he loved Yavin 4. However, he couldn't wait to leave for flight school. He had dreamt of coming here since the first time his mother taken him out in the a-wing with her. He couldn't wait to be able to fly his very own star fighter, and to help defend the democracy his parents had fought so hard to build.

The long flight to Hosnian Prime made Poe restless, he was so impatient to get there and start his new life, and to see his boyfriend. He and Armitage had agreed on an official relationship over a year ago, and it had been going great, but Poe had struggled with the long distance. He had always been the type of person to crave physical contact, and having a boyfriend he couldn't touch or hold or kiss was almost more than he could bare. Thankfully, he wouldn't have to wait much longer.

When he and his father landed at the spaceport Armitage was there to greet them. Poe grinned the second he saw that flash of red hair, and ran into Armitage's waiting arms. Poe lifted the older boy slightly off the ground, and Armitage squeaked in surprise, before they both laughed happily.

"I missed you," Armitage said.

"I missed you, too," Poe replied. He considered going in for a kiss, but remembered his father was watching and thought better of it. There would be time for that later.

"Good to see you again, Armitage," Kes said, after Poe and Armitage had disentangled themselves. "I take it Leia won't be joining us?"

"No," Armitage shrugged, "something came up, some sort of urgent senate business I think."

Kes barked out a laugh. "Sounds like Leia," he said. Together they left the spaceport and headed towards the student housing complex, at the edge of the Academy's campus.

Later that night, after Poe had said goodbye to his father, he and Armitage sat in his new room together, on the edge of his bed. Classes and training wouldn't start for another few days, so they had plenty of time to catch up before the work would start.

"I can't believe you're really here," Armitage told him. Poe combed his fingers through Armitage's hair, and leaned in for a kiss, unable to wait a second longer. Armitage sighed in relief as they kissed, and pulled Poe into his arms.

\--

New Jedi Order, 18 ABY

Overall things were starting to improve for Ben; in the last two years the Jedi academy had grown, and there were now eight other Padawan learners living and training with him. Those first few months, when it was just him and Luke, were unbearable, so Ben was grateful for the company. One of the first new students to arrive was Depa Syndulla, who Ben already knew quite well, and as she was of a similar age to Ben they had become good friends. They were also the first of the Padawans to create their own lightsabers. Ben's had turned out to be blue and Depa's green, which matched her complexion. Well, except for the patches of brown that hinted at her human ancestry.

He'd also taken up a new hobby; calligraphy. Ben had very rarely used real paper in his life, and the novelty was wonderful. He found that practising the smooth lines of the lettering was very calming, and when he was concentrating on that he could almost forget about that strange feeling in the back of his head.

Ben still didn't understand what the feeling was, but he had figured out that he felt it more strongly whenever he got angry; and he was angry a lot. Whenever he trained with his lightsaber, or with a staff against the other students, he could feel rage bubbling up from under the surface. He still hadn't been able to explain any of this to Luke, but he suspected the Jedi Master already knew something was wrong.

Today he was training with Depa using the practice staffs, under Luke's watchful eye. The younger students were training too, but Ben couldn't help but feel like Luke was singling him out for extra scrutiny. After they had warmed up with some simple blocks and strikes, they were ready to spar.

"Ready?" Depa asked as she casually spun her staff. Ben nodded, and they began. She came straight at him with multiple strikes, her lekku flowing gracefully behind her, and he only just managed to block. Then she took a swing at his shins which forced him to jump back. Once she had him off balance she stabbed the staff forwards, and stopped it with the end a few inches from his face.

"Ben, concentrate" Luke said in a warning tone. Ben could feel the rage threatening to take him over. He took a calming breath, then spun his staff around his head and got back into a starting position. Ben reached out with the force to make sure he could predict Depa's moves, and this time, when Luke told them to go, Ben was ready. Their staffs clashed loudly at the top of his swing, then he pushed down hard and forced the end Depa's staff to the ground. Ben spun around and used to other end to go for a head strike, but Depa ducked just in time. She took took a step backwards to readjust her footing and blocked the next swing.

He felt a spark of rage flow through him, completely unbidden, as if some unknown force was egging him on. Ben yelled and went on the attack, pouring everything he had into his swings. Distantly he could hear Luke's voice but he paid it no mind. Depa blocked the merciless hits of his staff as best she could, but Ben wouldn't back down and she stumbled to the floor. He raised his staff again, but Depa's voice cut through the haze of his anger, making him freeze.

"I yield!" She yelled, her hands up in surrender. Ben immediately came back to his senses.

"Ben!" Luke exclaimed, his face twisted in anger. Horrified, he dropped the staff; his whole body was shaking, he couldn't believe what he'd just done.

"I'm-" Ben said. His voice shook with emotion. "I'm so sorry."

\--

New Republic Naval Academy, 18 ABY

Armitage was in a fantastic mood; his first few weeks of classes had gone extremely well, and he could see his boyfriend every day. While the Flight School was not technically part of the Naval Academy, it was basically on the same campus, and all the student dorms where in the same location. Poe seemed to be enjoying his classes too; he talked excitedly about his day every evening. Sometimes Armitage would talk about his day too, but mostly he was happy to just sit and listen; Poe's joy was utterly infectious.

One night, after Armitage had been working late at the library, Poe got their dinner from the cafeteria and bought it to his room. When Poe got there Armitage was sitting on the bed with his back against the wall, hunched over his data pad.

“Still working?” Poe asked. He put the food down on Armitage's desk and sat next to him on the bed.

“It's not that,” Armitage replied, distracted. 

“Then what is it, you look really stressed out Tage?”

Armitage sighed and put down his data pad. “It's my application for officer's training next year. I don't want to mess it up.”

“When does it have to be in?” Poe asked.

“Not for another week.”

“How about this, it's very late and you're stressed, why don't you leave it till the morning?”

“That's not actually a bad idea,” Armitage said. He was starting to get a headache, and his stomach was rumbling at the thought of food. He would never be able to finish the application like this. Poe smiled and got them both some food from the bag he'd bought from the cafeteria. 

After they had eaten Armitage was feeling a lot better, but with the stress gone he was now feeling very drowsy. He yawned loudly as Poe cleared away their empty food boxes. 

“Do you want me to go back to my room so you can sleep?” Poe asked. 

“I'd rather sleep with you here,” Armitage replied, a content smile on his face. Poe smiled too, so they quickly got ready for bed. Poe got under the covers first and motioned for him to come over. Armitage slid into the bed next to Poe and they wrapped their arms around each other; their faces were so close their foreheads were almost touching. 

“You look so beautiful like this,” Poe breathed. Armitage could feel himself blush, but hoped the semi-darkness of the room would hide it. The dorm rooms were never fully dark, thanks to the constant glow of the city lights that peaked through the cheap blinds. 

“Me?” Armitage whispered in response. He was always a little confused when Poe spoke like this, Armitage only really thought of himself as skinny and awkward looking. Poe, however, was absolutely gorgeous, he couldn't fathom how he'd got so lucky. 

“Yes you, silly,” Poe laughed softly. “I don't know why you won't believe me.”

“Because you're, like, a hundred times hotter than me?” Armitage replied. He was getting very drowsy now, and he was starting to slur his words. Poe rolled his eyes.

“You're so stubborn sometimes.” Poe cupped Armitage's cheek and kissed him. It was a soft, lazy kiss, meant to show affection, not to arouse. Armitage sighed and closed his eyes, it wasn't long until they were both asleep.


	6. Graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Hux graduate from the academy, and receive their new postings. Poe is worried that they'll be posted too far apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They grow up so fast! Now that they are both adults (19 and 21 if you're keeping track) explicit content will start making an appearance. I will update the tags accordingly. Enjoy, and let me know what you think! :)

Hosnian Prime, 21 ABY

Armitage and Poe had made it. Tomorrow was the day they would graduate; Poe from flight school, and Armitage from the Navy Officer's Academy. It had been a tough few years for both of them, they had both worked so hard to get to the top of their respective classes and Armitage was glad that they had made it. It wasn't just the workload that had been getting him down; about mid way through his third year the news of his heritage had finally got out. He had been starting to think he'd make it without anyone catching on, but he had been wrong. 

He found himself on the receiving end of a lot of stares and muttering wherever he went, by people who couldn't know his story. There was even a time when his place at the officer's academy had been in doubt; the head of admissions had been worried about Armitage's commitment, but a quick holo call from Leia had straightened the whole thing out. He'd been furious and embarrassed for days. 

Thankfully, Poe had been there for him through it all. Every time he ended his day stressed or miserable, he could see Poe, and kiss him, and he'd find so much comfort in the other boy's arms. Sometimes they would just cuddle and go to sleep, sometimes Poe would fuck him so thoroughly that he couldn't remember his own name, and sometimes Armitage would do the same for Poe.

Knowing that tomorrow all their hard work was about to pay off was such a weight of Armitage's shoulders that he couldn't stop smiling and laughing all night. They had gone out to celebrate with some of Poe's flight school friends and Armitage was starting to feel a little drunk. He had drank about the same amount as the pilots, yet it seemed he was the only one feeling the effects.

“I thought you navy boys could handle your drink!” One of Poe's friends, Kara, teased. 

“It seems I'm rather letting the side down,” Armitage replied, slurring slightly. Everyone laughed, including Armitage himself. Kara then offered to buy the next round, which caused everyone to cheer. When Armitage asked for a non alcoholic drink Kara blew a raspberry at him, but bought him his requested drink nonetheless. 

After many more drinks, and after Poe and Armitage had got in a quick snog in a stall in the men's room, people started heading home. As much fun as Armitage had had at the bar, he couldn't wait to get back to his room and have a more private celebration with his boyfriend. The evening was mild as they walked back to the rooms arm in arm, but the chill breeze of the evening was starting to sober them up. Armitage was glad; he wanted to remember tonight.

The second Armitage shut the door Poe shoved him against it and kissed him enthusiastically. Armitage moaned at the sudden attack of Poe's mouth and melted into his arms; kissing back as good as he got. He grabbed Poe's ass and pulled him closer, which made their cocks rub together through their trousers. Poe made a growling sort of noise deep in his throat, and started to bite and suck at his neck. Armitage dropped his head back against the door and whined; the feeling of Poe at his neck was intense, Poe knew how sensitive he was there. 

“Fuck. Poe,” Armitage gasped. His hands slid underneath Poe's t-shirt and caressed the smooth skin there, then pushed the shirt up to revel his chest. Poe stopped his attack on Armitage's neck, leaving behind a love bite, and pulled his shirt over his head. Armitage kissed him again and explored Poe's newly exposed flesh with his hands, as Poe unbuttoned Armitage's shirt. Now that that the shirt was open Poe rubbed and pinched Armitage's sensitive nipples, which made him squirm, then leaned over and took one into his mouth. After a while Poe started to work his way lower, gradually sinking to his knees.

“Kriff,” Armitage cursed, out of breath. He stroked Poe's hair and watched his progress with hooded eyes. Poe unfastened Armitage's trousers and pulled them down, exposing his black briefs, and kissed the fine trail of hair that led to his cock. He was fully hard now, and Poe must have noticed, but he didn't make a move to remove his briefs. Instead he continued to kiss and lick just above them, and succeeded in his mission to drive Armitage mad. Armitage whined at the teasing and pulled lightly at Poe's hair, which in turn caused Poe to moan against his stomach. 

Eventually Poe pulled down Armitage's briefs, and he sighed in relief as he cock bounced free. Poe wasted no time now, and quickly took Armitage's cock into his mouth. Armitage squeezed his eyes shut, and tried not to moan too loudly as the wet heat of Poe's mouth enveloped him. He was fully aware that he was pressed up against the door, and that anyone walking by would be able to hear them. As Poe sucked greedily at his cock he also reached around and rubbed his finger over Armitage's hole. This went on for several minuets and Armitage was completely overwhelmed, and his legs were starting to shake. 

Poe, probably noticing the state that Armitage was in, stopped sucking his cock and got to his feet. “C'mere,” Poe murmured against Armitage's lips, and took his hand to guide him to the bed. Armitage steped out of his discarded clothes, shrugged off his open shirt, and followed Poe to the bed. He lay down and tried to get his breathing under control as he watched Poe remove his trousers. Once he was naked as well, Poe climbed onto the bed in the space Armitage had made between his legs, the kissed his way up Armitage's pale chest. 

They were both hard by now, and once Poe had worked his way back up to kiss Armitage's lips, their cock began to rub together. Both of them let out a groan when this happened, and kissed more desperately. Poe started to grind his hips, and Armitage wrapped his legs around Poe's waist to pull him even closer. 

“Can I fuck you tonight?” Poe asked. He sounded wrecked already.

“If you _don't_ fuck me, I'm going to be furious,” Armitage whined in reply. Poe sat up on his knees and grinned, then opened the draw in the bedside table to get the lubricant. Armitage bit his lip as Poe slicked up his fingers, shaking in anticipation, and he let his legs fall even further apart. With his clean hand Poe cupped underneath one of Armitage's thighs and pushed it towards his chest, and started massaging his hole with the other. Armitage cried out and ground his hips down on Poe's fingers in an effort to get Poe inside him. 

“You're breathtaking like this,” Poe said. He punctuated the end of his sentence by sliding in a finger. Armitage let out a sob, and he flushed even darker, the compliment and the penetration together were overwhelming. Poe worked his finger in and out while he stroked Armitage's thigh, then looked into his eyes. “I love you so much.”

Armitage gasped and reached to up cup Poe's face. “I love you too,” he breathed, then kissed him again. They had confessed their love before, of course, but every time Armitage heard it his heart fluttered inside his chest. 

Poe slipped a second finger into Armitage, which made him moan and arch his hips, and he grabbed the bedding beneath him. Poe gave him a questioning look, as if he was worried he was hurting him, but Armitage nodded his encouragement so Poe continued. After a while Poe was satisfied that Armitage was ready, so he pulled out and began to slick up his cock. Poe groaned loudly when he touched his own cock; it had been neglected for a while and it had become painfully hard. He took a few seconds to pull himself together, in which time Armitage was getting increasingly more desperate. 

“Please,” Armitage begged. He knew he must have looked thoroughly debauched as he looked up at Poe, his eyes dark with lust. Poe lined up his cock and slowly sunk into the tight, wet, heat of Armitage's hole. Armitage gasped and whined, his head thrown back, and his fingers grappled for purchase on Poe's back. Once he was fully seated he held still to let Armitage get used to the intrusion and relax around him. Poe lent over and rested his forearms on the mattress either side of Armitage to hold himself up, and kissed him again. Armitage clung to Poe, his legs wrapped tightly around him to make sure he didn't start moving too soon, and kissed him back. The kiss was sloppy and lazy; his mind clouded with pleasure and the ache of the stretch.

Armitage loosened his legs a bit, and Poe took that as a sign he was ready, so he took a few experimental shallow thrusts. Armitage tried to say yes, but it just came out as a whining noise. Encouraged, Poe pulled almost all the way out, then thrust back in a little harder. Then he started moving faster, making sure he got as deep as he could with every thrust. Armitage made constant and incoherent moaning noises, too turned on to remember to be embarrassed.

Poe was really struggling to keep it together; the feeling of fucking Armitage, and the sound of his moans made it very difficult not to come, and he was moaning and groaning along with him. To distract himself he latched on to Armitage's neck again and alternated between biting and kissing, which drove Armitage even more wild. 

“Can- can we switch?” Poe panted when everything became too much.

“Yeah, I'll r-ride you,” Armitage replied with a gasp. Poe pulled out suddenly and flipped them over, and Armitage got onto his weak knees to give Poe room to sit up against the headboard. Once Poe was settled Armitage shuffled forwards onto his lap and took hold of Poe's cock to line it up. Poe held Armitage's hips and guided him down. They moaned in unison when Poe bottomed out, and clung to each other, their bodies shaking and covered with sweat. 

They kissed for a while, then Armitage grabbed the headboard at either side of Poe's head for leverage, and started to bounce on Poe's cock. Poe gripped harder at Armitage's hips; his head fell back and his eyes fluttered shut as Armitage moved up and down. The technique was a bit messy but they were beyond caring. The bed was creaking now, and Armitage moved still faster; he was going to come soon, he just needed a little more. He let go of the headboard with one hand and reached for his cock, but when Poe noticed he knocked Armitage's hand away to did it himself. 

“I'm gonna come,” Armitage whined. His hips were moving erratically now as he chased down his orgasm. Poe sped up his hand on Armitage's cock to help him along, and very soon he came into Poe's hand with gasping breaths, his hole clenching around Poe's cock. Armitage went completely boneless in Poe's lap, and Poe had to hold him up as he thrust his hips up into him a few more time, and came with a drawn out yell. 

“Kriff,” Poe groaned as he tried to get his breath back. Armitage hummed weakly against Poe's shoulder, where his head now lay. They stayed like that for a few minutes, just basking in the post orgasm bliss. Eventually Armitage found enough strength to extract himself from Poe's lap, and he sighed when Poe's cock slipped free. He flopped down next to Poe, too tired to move any further.

“I'll get a cloth,” Poe said eventually. He groaned as he stood up, and walked a few paces to the room's sink to get something to clean up with. He cleaned himself up quickly, then took a little more care in cleaning Armitage, who gave him a dopey smile. One he'd thrown the cloth back into the sink he pulled back the bed covers and crawled in next to his boyfriend. Armitage shuffled closer and laid his head against Poe's chest; his arm around his waist. Poe wrapped his arms around Armitage and kissed his red hair. They lay like that for some time, just enjoying holding each other for a while. 

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Armitage asked at last.

“Yes and no,” Poe said. Armitage propped himself up on one arm so he could look at Poe with a small frown. “I'm really happy to be graduating, don't get me wrong, it's just-”

“Just what?” Armitage asked, in a soft voice. 

“After that we'll get our new postings. We could end up stationed on the other said of the galaxy to each other,” he answered miserably.

“We can't know that, the military is a lot smaller these days, we could get posted to the same base.” Armitage tried to sound encouraging, but he had to admit he was worried about that himself.

“I know, I should think positively, but I don't think I'll manage if I have to spend months apart from you.”

Armitage felt a lump in his throat, and tried to swallow around it, forcing himself not to cry. He kissed Poe then and stroked his hair in and effort to comfort him. “If we have to do long distance for a while, then we'll manage. We've done it before.”

Poe nodded, but he looked so sad it made Armitage's heart hurt. They kissed again for a while, slowly and softly, and Armitage tried to put as much love into it as he could. Being separated would be incredibly painful for both of them, but they would have plenty of leave from their duties to be together, and Armitage was confident that they loved each other enough to make it work. 

 

The next morning they woke up early, without much of a hangover, and after a shower Poe went back to his own room to change into his new uniform for the ceremony. He would meet up with his father soon and Armitage would meet up with Leia and Han.

Armitage opened his wardrobe and took out his new uniform, then laid it out on the bed. The uniform consisted of a long-sleeved dark blue shirt, grey trousers, and a black belt with a polished gold buckle. On his feet he would be wearing a pair of knee length black uniform boots, polished to a sheen, which his trousers would tuck in to. On top of all that would be a white high-collared, mid-length jacket, with a stripe of navy across the shoulders. On the left breast was the New Republic crest, and on the right was space for a rank tab, which he would receive at the ceremony. This was the uniform worn by all officers within FleetOps.

After he got dressed he slicked his hair back with gel and stood at parade rest to look himself over in the mirror. He looked… good. Armitage was surprised to think such a thing about himself, but it was true. He was expecting the uniform to swamp him, but instead it showed off his better features, and hid the ones he was less happy with. The belt cinched in his slim waist, and the shoulders of the jacket disguised his own narrow shoulders beneath. He couldn't wait for Han and Leia to see him.

His comm sounded an alert just then; it was a message from Leia telling him they were downstairs waiting for him. Armitage smiled, excited to see them, and rushed off to meet them.

When he got down to the reception area of the building he found Han and Leia waiting for him. They smiled brightly when they saw him.

"Oh darling," Leia said, and pulled him into a hug. "You look so smart!"

“Thanks,” Armitage replied as he hugged her back. They broke apart a few seconds later, and he turned to Han. 

“Looking good, kid,” Han said. He tried to sound cool and calm, like he always did, but he was glowing with pride, and he hugged Armitage too. “You clean up a hell of a lot better than I ever did.”

Armitage was beaming with pride. Leia linked arms with him and together all three of them left the building and headed across the campus to meet with Poe and Kes. While they walked Leia bombarded him with questions about his training, how he's been, has he been eating enough, how is he feeling, how are things with Poe. He tried to answer all of them in detail, but talk of Poe had distracted him somewhat. 

He'd told Poe last night that there was a good chance they would get stationed on the same base, but he had to admit that was optimistic at best, and a downright lie at worst. He was incredibly worried about being separated from Poe, they'd come to rely on each other so much for support that he didn't know how they would manage on their own. He knew Poe was worried too, and somehow that was worse. He had to put it out of his mind, he couldn't let the worry ruin such a happy day. They would have weeks before they got their first assignments; plenty of time to worry later.

They met with Poe and Kes at a caff shop on the other side of the campus. It was incredibly crowded with students and their parents, but Kes and Poe had managed to save them some seats.

“Over here,” Kes called with a wave. He was beaming just like Han and Leia were. They made their way towards them; then he noticed Poe. He looked so stunning in his _Starfighter Corps_ dress uniform that it actually made Armitage a little hot under the collar. Poe's uniform was a charcoal grey dress jacket with a banded collar, navy blue trim, and shiny sliver buttons. The trousers were much the same, with a navy blue stripe going down his thighs, and he wore the same polished knee length boots as Armitage did. Poe had also tried to neaten up his hair with a comb and some gel, which hadn't really worked.

“So nice to see you all,” Kes said. He shook their hands and congratulated Armitage, and Han and Leia congratulated Poe, then they all sat down. Armitage hugged Poe briefly before they sat down next to each other. “What an exciting day,” Kes went on. He went on talking to Han and Leia for some time, but Armitage wasn't really listening, he was too distracted by Poe. Now that the adults were talking happily, Armitage lent over to whisper to Poe.

“You look amazing,” he said.

“Not as amazing as you,” Poe replied, with a smirk. Armitage blushed slightly. “I couldn't even get my hair to play ball.”

Armitage put his hand over Poe's and stroked the back of it with his thumb. “I can't wait to mess it up again later,” he said, even quieter this time.

 

An hour later they split up again to sit with their fellow students and watch the ceremony. It took rather a long time as so many different disciplines would been getting their rank tabs, and the new naval officers would be called up last. Armitage cheered and clapped a lot harder when Poe was called to the stage, then after what felt like a lifetime, it was his turn. 

“Hux, Armitage,” called the officer in charge of the ceremony. He took a deep breath to steady himself, and walked onto the stage. He shook hands with the officer and stood still while he pinned the rank tab to his chest.

“Welcome to the New Republic Navy, Ensign Hux.”


	7. Separation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Poe are struggling with their long distance relationship, and Ben finally talks to Luke about the darkness lingering over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since my last update! There won't be any explicit content in this chapter, just a whole heap of angst! It's a pretty short chapter to get me back into it, so I hope you enjoy it. :)

Mirrin Prime Republic Base, 23 ABY

Armitage had been stationed in the New Republic defence fleet, protecting the Mirrin Prime base, since his graduation from the academy two years ago. The ship he served on was a _Starhawk_ -class battleship called _Memory of Alderaan_ ; Leia had almost wept when he told her the name. He had hoped that Poe would be stationed on the same base, but fate, or more accurately high command, had cruelly separated them. It had been so tough to say goodbye to Poe, and even though they talked regularly on the holo comm he missed him terribly. In those two years they had only managed to take their shore leave together once; but it had been the best two months of his life. 

He had felt incredibly lonely without Poe, so Armitage had thrown himself into his work, and he had quickly proven himself in the eyes of his commanders. His quick thinking and dedication to the cause had already been noticed, and it wasn't long until he had been promoted to Lieutenant. He was so thrilled that he had called Leia the moment he had heard the news, and she had told him how proud she was, and how much she loved him. Armitage had felt so happy he could have wept, but he managed to hold it together.

When he would call Poe in the evenings, they would talk for hours, telling each other how their day went or any gossip from around their respective bases, or they complained about their peers. Sometimes they wouldn't even talk, they just left the channel open as they worked in their quarters, just enjoying the others presence in holo form. But it wasn't enough. Recently Poe had become more and more irritable during their calls; he always apologised for it, but Armitage could tell something was wrong, and it worried him. Every time he asked Poe would just shrug it off and insist everything was fine. Armitage knew it wasn't.

Poe called him again that night, and when his face appeared on the holo he looked a bit distressed. “Poe,” Armitage said, “are you okay? Is there something wrong?” 

“Tage, I need to talk to you about something,” Poe told him. He sounded sad, but also uncomfortable, and he wouldn't make eye contact with him. Armitage could feel his heart speed up, as if he was starting to panic. He took a deep breath.

“What's wrong?” Armitage asked. 

“I can't go on like this,” Poe said. “I miss you so much every day, it feels like a physical pain in my chest, and every time I talk to you on here it makes it worse. Not being able to hold you is killing me.”

“Darling,” Armitage whispered; feeling the same pain in his chest that Poe had just described. “I miss you more than anything in the galaxy.” The small holo version on Poe looked even sadder now, and Armitage could have sworn he saw tears forming in his eyes. It broke his heart. 

“I know,” he said. Poe took a deep breath and looked into Armitage's eyes. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

“I just wish we could work this out.”

“Work what out?”

“I can't do this any more. I thought I could handle long distance, but I can't,” Poe said, as tears started to fall from his eyes. Armitage felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, and he started to well up himself.

“You can't mean that,” Armitage gasped. He reached out a shaking hand to Poe, and his fingers went through his holo form. 

“I'm sorry, Tage.”

“Please don't do this,” Armitage said with a quiet sob. He watched as Poe wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“I have to,” Poe sniffled. “I can't focus on anything when I'm hurting like this, we have to take a break.”

“No,” Armitage gasped again. Although he knew it was hopeless; he was losing him.

“Maybe one day the stars will align, and we'll be able to be together properly, but the pain of talking to you every day and not being with you is too much to bare.” Poe let out a tiny sob, and wiped more tears from his face. Armitage's hand shook as he reached for a tissue and did the same; he couldn't believe this was happening, and it hurt so much.

“I don't want to lose you,” he told him, “but I know you well enough to know that there's nothing I can say to change your mind.”

“Thanks for understanding. I don't think we should talk again for a while, okay?” Poe said. Armitage just nodded and dabbed his eyes with the tissue. “I'm gonna go now,” he finished.

“Goodbye, darling. I'll always -” He was interrupted by the sound of Poe ending the call. “- love you.” 

For a while Armitage just sat at his desk in shock; not wanting to believe what had just happened. Poe was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and now he was gone. Then all of a sudden he started to sob in earnest; his whole body shaking with it. He curled up on his bed and hugged a pillow to his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. He couldn't remember how long he cried for, but when he finally started to calm down his pillow was soaking with his tears.

–

New Jedi Order, 23 ABY

It had been five years since the incident with Depa; as a result of that day she had started avoiding him at all costs, and a few weeks later Kanan had come to take her home. Ben still remembers the argument he had overheard between Luke and Depa's father. Luke had been trying to convince Kanan that there was nothing to worry about, that Ben was under control, but Kanan wasn't buying it. He said he couldn't allow his daughter to be within a light year of Ben after what he had done. He told Luke that he had a bad feeling about him; as if he could sense there was a great evil about to burst out of him. He watched Depa's shuttle leave the planet from the window of his hut that night, and the despair and loneliness he had felt quickly turned into a burning rage. 

After that he devoted himself fully to his training. He practised his meditations as often as he could, trained with the Jedi force puzzles, and sparred only with his uncle. He had even taken to reading ancient Jedi texts and copying them out with his calligraphy set. He felt more lonely than he ever had, but he didn't want to talk to the other students after what had happened with Depa. Maybe Kanan was right, maybe he was an evil child; the voice inside his head seemed to agree. 

One evening, soon after his eighteenth birthday, Luke had invited him into his hut. He didn't tell Ben the purpose of this one-on-one meeting, but he thought he had a pretty good idea of what was going on. Luke must have been able to sense his turmoil; maybe he had even spied on his mind and heard the voice that he had been too ashamed about to talk about. The thought of his uncle listening to his private thoughts made his skin crawl. 

“Ben, come in,” Luke called when Ben knocked on his door. Ben entered the building cautiously, and found Luke standing over a stove, brewing a pot of tea that he makes from some of the local plants. Luke gestured to the sitting area, so Ben took as seat, and watched as his uncle poured two cups of the tea and brought them over. 

“What did you want to talk about, Master?” Ben asked; sipping the tea he'd just been given. He half expected Luke to ask him not to call him 'master' as they were alone, but he did no such thing. 

“We need to talk about you, I'm afraid,” Luke said. He took a sip of his own tea, then set the cup down on the table between them. It was as he'd feared then. Ben just stared at him and waited for him to continue. After a moment Luke sighed and ran a had through his hair. “I can sense your anger, Ben. I have been convinced that you would grow out of it, that it was just you being a teenager, but you're an adult now, and your rage feels stronger than ever.” 

Ben shifted uncomfortably in his chair and he stared at his feel. He could feel the scratching at the base of his skull starting up again. “I want to help you. But I can't do that if you won't talk to me,” Luke said. 

“I guess it's just – I don't know how to explain it,” Ben admitted. He looked up at his uncle – his _master_ \- and saw him watching him so intently that he had to look away again. He took a deep breath and forged ahead. “There's something lurking in the back of my head, I don't understand what it is, but it's like a presence.”

“What kind of presence?” Luke asked tensely. 

“Every time I feel upset it's just there, like it's egging me on or something,” Ben tried to explain, but he didn't feel like he was doing a very good job of it. 

“Why didn't you tell me about this before?” 

“I didn't know if you'd believe me.”

“Ben, look at me,” Luke said firmly. Reluctantly, Ben looked up at his master and saw what he had known he would see; a look of horror on Luke's face. Ben grabbed his tea and forced himself to drink, if only to keep himself from crying. He had always known this would happen some day; he had tricked himself into thinking it wasn't coming – but somehow he'd always known. 

“Listen to me, Ben,” Luke said; making Ben jump when he reached out and touched the back of his hand. “We're going to figure this out, I promise.”

“Really?” Ben asked. He felt a tear running down his cheek, and wiped it away angrily.

“Yes. You're my apprentice, I won't fail you.” 

Ben felt a surge of hatred flow through him, and he yanked his hand away from Luke's. “ _Apprentice_?” Ben asked, incredulously. “That's all I am to you? Mother promised me you'd care about me, but you never really did, did you?” he spat; making Luke flinch away at the outburst.

“Of course I care about you!” Luke insisted. “I care about all of my students.”

Ben slammed his empty cup down onto the table and stood up; towering over his uncle. He was still skinny, but he had grown taller than Luke a long time ago. “No. I'm not just another student,” Ben yelled. Luke made a placating gesture, but it only served to rile him up even more. “I'm your _nephew_ , your flesh and blood. You're supposed to be my family.”

Ben's heart was racing now, as he glared at Luke. “What was I supposed to do, give you preferential treatment?” Luke asked; matching his glare. 

“You were supposed to lo-love me,” Ben answered quietly; his voice giving way to a quiet sob. Before Luke could say anything else, Ben all but ran from the room, slamming the door on the way out. He could hear Luke calling after him, but he ignored him, and stormed off towards his hut to cry in private. 

–

Hosnian Prime, 23 ABY

For Poe most of the last two years had been hell. While his boyfriend had been deployed to the Mirrin system, he had been assigned to a fighter squadron stationed on the New Republic's home world; Hosnian Prime. He had known this was a possibility after their graduation, but Armitage had reassured him that it was unlikely; and he'd believed him. He was enjoying his flying, of course, but every moment not spent in the cockpit he was thinking about Armitage. 

They had found something wonderful in each other, and it hurt so much to have that snatched away from him. In his darker moments he had even considered quitting altogether; but in the end decided against it. He would have been even more miserable if he couldn't fly, and Armitage would never leave his post; he was stubborn like that. For those two long years he had struggled to figure out what to do, he had even called his father to ask his advice. 

Eventually he figured out what he had to do. The only thing he could do to keep himself sane, and his career on track. That holo call had been the toughest call he had ever had to make. Breaking up with Armitage had seemed unthinkable only a few months earlier, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made. Seeing Armitage cry had almost been too much for him to bare, and he ended the call far to quickly just so he wouldn't have to see any more. It was selfish, he knew that, but if he had stayed on any longer he would have been tempted to take it all back. 

After the call he collapsed onto his bed and cried. He looked over at his bedside table and stared through tear-blurred eyes at the holo of the two of them together. In a fit of despair he threw the holo across the room, and it cracked as it hit the opposite wall.


	8. Rebound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Poe try to move on with their lives, but it's not as easy as they thought it would be.
> 
> _There was only one person in the galaxy who had ever called him 'Tage', and hearing it said by another man just felt wrong. This whole thing was supposed to stop him thinking about Poe, yet now he was all he could think about._

Mirrin Prime, 25 ABY

Armitage's last two years of hard work had paid off. He was now known as Commander Hux; which had taken some getting used to. The promotion had come as somewhat of a surprise, as twenty-five was rather young for a Commander, especially in the naval division. He had distinguished himself in a rather fierce battle against a small fleet of ships owned by the Guavian Death Gang, and his superiors had been incredibly impressed with his quick thinking; apparently they saw great potential in him. It had also helped that he was learning how to play politics; he had watched Leia doing this for most of his life, and he had picked up some tricks along the way. He still called her for advice rather often, and she was always happy to give it. 

Having junior officers and Lieutenants taking his orders had felt odd at first, but he quickly became comfortable with his command, as if he were born for it. He had also become second in command of _Memory of Alderaan_ very recently, and he had taken over the bridge during the night shift. The first time he had relieved the Captain and took command of the ship was one of the most thrilling moments of his life. For the whole night he was in command of an entire battle cruiser, and the thousands of crew members aboard. 

As for his love life, however, it had all but stopped. The pain of his breakup had faded eventually, leaving behind it an emptiness that he had tried to fill with work. While he had been very successful in his work, there was just something missing from his life, and he knew he would never be truly happy unless he could find someone to fill that void. 

Dating while in the Navy was not easy; especially with his progression through the ranks. He had to be careful of inappropriate relationships, which would be seen as unbecoming for an officer of rank. While he was out on patrol with the fleet, it was almost impossible to date. Not only was he worried of doing anything inappropriate, but he simply didn't have the time. However, after every few months on tour every crew member would be given a week off duty on Mirrin Prime to relax before the next tour. They still had longer leave once a year, but for those short breaks it was too expensive and time consuming to send everyone back to their home planets. Armitage figured these week long breaks were the perfect time to try and find someone.

The breaks were always welcome after so long being confined to a battleship, and Armitage found them very relaxing. But the next time the ship returned to base, Armitage had a mission; find a nice man to fill the void. He started by asking his friends if they knew anyone who might be interested. He didn't have many people he would actually call friends, but over the last few years he had made a few real friends. He was out drinking with them one night, when he ran into someone he wasn't expecting to.

“Hey, Armitage, have you met Rex?” His friend Togruta friend, Daarla, asked him after a few drinks; waving someone over. “He's only been stationed out here for a few weeks,” she finished.

Armitage looked across the cantina and saw non other than his old friend from the academy, Rex Yalland. It had been years since they had spoken, and Armitage didn't think it was possible but he had somehow become more muscular.

“Armitage!” Rex exclaimed when he came over. 

“Rex, is that you?” Armitage asked; grinning. “It's so good to see you.” He got up from the table and hugged Rex in greeting. He felt so solid and warm as they hugged, and he even smelled nice; it made Armitage's heart speed up slightly.

“Wait. You two already know each other?” Daarla asked.

“Yeah,” Rex answered after the hug. “We were friends at the academy.” Hux smiled, and made room for Rex next to him at the table. 

“Small galaxy,” Daarla said thoughtfully. The small group lapsed into silence for a moment, until Rex spoke up a moment later. 

“So, I heard you made Commander?” Rex asked him; pitching his voice to make it clear he was talking to Armitage alone. His friends seemed to notice that, and started to talk amongst themselves. 

“I don't know how that happened,” Armitage replied with a little chuckle. 

“You deserve it,” Rex said; and patted him on the shoulder. Armitage blushed slightly and took a long drink of his beer. 

“What about you?” he asked. “How has everything been going?”

“I actually got promoted to Gunnery Chief not too long ago,” Rex told him. 

“That's brilliant!” Armitage exclaimed, “congratulations.” He patted Rex's hand in what he thought was a congratulatory sort of way, but pulled his hand back quickly when he realised what he was doing. Rex frowned slightly and gave him a searching look; as if he were studying him. Armitage knew he'd be able to see the flush on his cheeks, but he hoped Rex would assume it was from the alcohol. He picked up his beer again and finished the glass. 

“Do you want another drink?” Rex asked. Armitage looked from his empty glass to Rex, and nodded. “Come on then, let's go to the bar,” he said, and held Armitage's hand as he dragged him out of his seat. It was very crowded at the bar, but due to Rex's height he managed to get the server's attention quickly, and they soon had their drinks. 

“Do you mind if we sit alone for a bit?” Rex asked. 

“Sure, why not,” Armitage replied with a shrug. They walked to the far side of the cantina and found an empty table.

“So you and Poe. Are you guys still together?” Rex asked. Armitage sighed deeply and looked away from Rex. 

“He broke up with me about two years ago,” he said. 

“Why would he do something so ridiculous?” Rex asked, in a tone that suggested that he was genuinely confused. 

“Something about not being able to date someone who's half way across the galaxy,” Armitage told him, then looked up at Rex again. “It's okay though, it was ages ago, I'm over it.” He gave Rex a smile that he hoped was convincing. 

“You know I used to have such a crush on you,” Rex murmured; shifting closer to him. Armitage shivered and in leaned closer himself.

“Used to?” he asked; almost whispering in Rex's ear. 

“You're more beautiful than I remember,” Rex replied; stroking his hand up Armitage's arm. Armitage sighed and bit his lip; melting into his touch. His hand worked all the way up to Armitage's cheek and rested there, stroking it gently with his thumb, as he started to lean in. “Can I kiss you?” he asked. 

“Yes,” Armitage breathed, and leaned in the rest of the way to seal the kiss. 

– 

New Jedi Order, 25 ABY

Things had been very awkward with Luke since their confrontation. Luke had tried to talk to him alone on many occasions, but Ben had done everything he could to make sure that didn't happen. Something in his mind told him that Luke meant him harm; his dreams had been plagued with visions of his master attacking him, and the rage he had felt towards Luke had gradually morphed into fear. In truth he was too old to still be here, and he had nothing left to learn from Luke, yet here he still was. The idea of him being able to leave had never even been mentioned; which all added to his paranoia. Surely as an adult he should be allowed to leave if he chose, there must have been a reason he was being kept here. 

Thoughts that were not entirely his own told him that he needed to find some allies amongst his fellow students, so that when things finally came to a head he would be more likely to survive. The problem was that most of the other students practically worshipped Luke, and getting them to believe that their master was a genuine threat would not be easy. Still, Ben enjoyed a challenge, and his studies at the order had become so easy for him that he relished the thought of a task that would challenge him. 

He couldn't charge straight in and tell people that Luke meant to murder him; they would think he had gone mad and report him to Luke. No, he'd have to charm them first. He had never been particularly charming before, although he had never really tried. He approached a few students when they were alone, and he quickly discovered that the force wasn't that only thing he had inherited from his mother. It was such a surprise to Ben that he could lay on the charm when he needed to, and it actually worked. Ben was feeling rather pleased with his progress, and he was certain that Luke hadn't figured out what he was up to. 

One night, he was walking past Luke's hut and he heard a familiar voice. _Mother_. His heart skipped a beat; could she really be here? Was she going to let him come home? He quietly pressed himself against the wall of Luke's hut and listened in through the window. Now he had got closer, however, he could hear that it was only a pre-recorded message, not Leia herself. He cursed himself for thinking she was here; he would have sensed her before now. 

“Armitage has made Commander you know,” message Leia said. “He came to us as a frightened little boy, and he's come so far, Han and I are so proud of him.”

Ben felt a lump form in his throat. _Armitage, Armitage, everything was always about poor little Armitage_ , he thought bitterly. What about him? He was their flesh and blood, their true son, weren't they proud of him? He'd done everything that had ever been asked of him; he hadn't wanted to study with his uncle but he had done as he was told, and he had worked hard. He had become just as powerful as Luke himself, yet he couldn't remember his parents ever telling him they were proud of him.

“He's second in command of the patrol fleet's flag ship. At twenty-five! That's almost unheard of,” the message continued. Ben tried to stifle a sob, but it just slipped out. He could hear movement inside the hut; Luke must have heard him. Before he had time to think Ben took off across the grounds, not giving Luke a chance to find out he was listening in. When he made it back to his own hut he sighed heavily and flopped down on his bed; that was close. 

–

Mirrin Prime, 25 ABY

The next morning Armitage woke up with his face pressed against a warm, solid, chest. He was still half asleep as he groaned and nestled in closer; not thinking about who he was sharing a bed with, just happy to be warm and comfortable. He reached out to wrap his around the man's waist, and froze. The man he was curled up with was larger than he was expecting. He'd only ever woken up like this with Poe, and the realization that it wasn't him was quite jarring. He cracked open an eye and saw Rex sleeping peacefully next to him, and Armitage couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment.

They'd had a wonderful night, the sex was great, and Rex was incredibly attractive, but something was missing. He was expecting to wake up feeling satisfied, and not thinking about Poe for once, but apparently it wasn't to be; he still felt empty inside. He sighed and started to extract himself from Rex's arms; he had just started putting his trousers back on when Rex finally woke up. 

“Where are you going, beautiful?” Rex asked sleepily. He rolled onto his side and reached for his arm, and Armitage let him pull him back to sit on the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arm around his waist, kissed the back of his neck, and whispered in his ear, “it's early, come back to bed.” 

“I've got things to do, Rex,” Armitage said. Rex let go of him and flopped back onto the bed, and Armitage could see he looked disappointed. He really had enjoyed himself, and he didn't want to hurt Rex at all, not after he had been so sweet to him. He leaned over and gave him a chaise kiss. “I had a really good time last night,” he murmured, and kissed him again. Rex tried to pull him closer, but Armitage had already pulled away, and he continued to get dressed. 

Once he was dressed he tried to neaten his hair up at little, without much success, and turned back to Rex, who had been watching him from under hooded eyes. “I'll be back on duty tomorrow,” Rex said. Armitage almost felt relieved. 

“Well, you have my comm number, let me know when you'll be back and we could meet up again, if you like,” Armitage said; standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, fully dressed. 

“See you around, Tage,” Rex said. Armitage left the room quickly, and he only stopped once he had made it down three flights of stairs and out of the building; leaning against the wall and trying to steady himself. There was only one person in the galaxy who had ever called him 'Tage', and hearing it said by another man just felt wrong. This whole thing was supposed to _stop_ him thinking about Poe, yet now he was all he could think about. 

He walked back towards his own room miserably, feeling even worse than ever, and once he locked the door behind him he threw himself onto his bed without even taking off his shoes. Armitage lay there numbly for a while; not tired enough to sleep but too miserable to do anything else. He considered recording a message for Poe; they hadn't talked for so long and he missed the sound of his voice. But after a long while he managed to talk himself out of it, because as bad as he felt now, he'd feel even worse if he poured his heart out on his comm and never got a reply. 

–

Hosnian Prime, 25 ABY

There was nothing in the whole galaxy that Poe enjoyed more than flying. He had surely inherited his mother's talent for it; she had been one of the best pilots in the Rebel Alliance, and knowing he was following in her footsteps made his heart swell with pride. Peace now reigned in the galaxy, and Poe knew in his heart that this was a good thing, but he couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed that he wouldn't have a chance to prove himself like his mother had done during the war.

It was selfish to think like that, and it wasn't like he never saw any action. Pirates and criminal gangs had become a major problem, and with the New Republic's reduced military presence they were starting to push the limits of their power more and more. Ships venturing out from Hutt space, looking for opportunity, had increased exponentially in the last ten years. If Poe didn't know any better, he'd have said they were up to something. He had bought this up with his commander once, but he was told not to worry about it, that it was under control. 

He tried to shake off the bad feeling he had about it all, and continued with his job. Just because his superiors didn't want to hear about it, didn't mean he couldn't speculate with his peers. Karé Kun, a fellow pilot in his squadron, and an old fried from his academy days, always indulged his theories; in fact she seemed almost as interested in them as he was. During their many avid debates and theorising they had grown very close, and they had taken to spending time alone together talking about their theories, sometimes talking late into the night. This wasn't the Empire, they were allowed to criticise Republic command in public, but they always took to discussing such things in private. Karé called it paranoia, but Poe just called it common sense. This was still a military outfit after all, even if sometimes they didn't act like it. 

One night, Poe and Karé were in Poe's quarters, enjoying a bottle of liquor that Poe's father had sent to him from his home planet of Yavin 4. The liquid was bright green and sweet tasting, but it was deceptively strong, and after a couple of glasses it was starting to go to his head. They had long since abandoned their talk of Republic conspiracies, and had moved on to gossip from around the base. Karé laughed happily along with Poe as they chatted, getting more and more drunk, and Poe started to wonder if Karé had always been this attractive. He certainly hadn't noticed it before now. Then again, he'd been so hung up on Armitage that he hadn't really been looking.

“Poe?” Karé asked, breaking him from his reverie. Poe honestly couldn't remember what she had just been saying, and he flushed with embarrassment. “Blimey Dameron, I thought you could drink better than this!” Karé said with a laugh, before taking Poe's drink out of his hand and putting it on the table. He watched her intently, wondering how he could have known this wonderful woman for so long and never noticed how pretty she was. 

“When did you get so pretty?” Poe asked, a dopey grin on his face. Karé rolled her eyes and screwed the cap back on the liqueur.

“Yeah, that's enough drink for you I think,” Karé told him, as she stood up to put the bottle away. She was probably right, he was drunk and making a fool out of himself. He'd never been attracted to a woman in this way before, it was probably just the booze talking. Well, that and the loneliness. Not a good combination.

“You're right, Karé, I'm sorry,” Poe mumbled. Karé sat back down next to him a sighed. 

“It's okay, I know how it feels to be lonely,” Karé said; patting him on the shoulder. “And I know you miss him, but you've gotta get back out there man. All that stuff about there only being one person out there for each of us, it's crap. You'll find someone else, I promise.”

“I don't want anyone else,” Poe said miserably.

–

_Message from Senator Leia Organa to Master Luke Skywalker:_

_Luke, it's Leia. Just a quick update from us. Han is away with his racing team again. I'm glad he's found something that makes him happy, he wasn't enjoying being surrounded by politicians all the time, and I can't say I blame him. Oh, and Armitage has made Commander you know! He came to us as a frightened little boy, and he's come so far, Han and I are so proud of him. He's second in command of the patrol fleet's flag ship. At twenty-five! That's almost unheard of. I couldn't believe it when he told me._

_Obviously the reason I'm sending this is Ben, I really hope he's okay. I know last time we spoke you were worried about his state of mind, and you thought it best for him to stay with you for a while longer, but I've been thinking that it's time from him to come home. I know you don't agree, and you worry about what he will do, but he's an adult now and we can't keep him isolated forever. Maybe getting away from everything will help him, maybe he needs to find his own path._

_Han and I miss him so much, we haven't seen him for years. We respect you and everything you're trying to achieve out there immensely, but we're no longer convinced that this is what's best for our son. I know what you're going to say, that I'm too emotional, that I can't see the bigger picture, but please Luke, I just have a bad feeling about leaving him cooped up like this. I can't explain it, but something bad is going to happen if he stays there._

_What if his state of mind is my fault? I should never have sent him away, I was just scared that his powers were getting too strong, that I wouldn't be able to handle it, but I should have tried harder. I sent him to you because it was easier, and that was wrong. I just want to see my son again, Luke, I miss him so much, I think of him sitting alone in that hut and it breaks my heart. I'm your sister, and for the sake of the love we have for each other, please let him come home._

_Leia Organa, signing off._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter, it means a lot to me that you're still reading. Let me know what you think, comments are super encouraging. 
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://ragdoll-hux.tumblr.com).


	9. Under Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage's ship is under attack, Leia has some surprising news for Ben, Luke makes a terrible decision, and Poe gets to play hero. Featuring a lot of angst and force visions.
> 
> Excerpt: _A Captain before the age of thirty, and of a capital ship no less, was a major achievement, and Armitage could hardly believe it. He didn't have much time to celebrate, however, as hours after taking up his new post the ship was under attack. These attacks coming from Hutt space had become more and more common these past few years, and they were struggling to keep up. The attacks themselves never posed a real threat to the ship, or the base they were protecting, but the sheer volume of them was starting to take its toll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly longer chapter than normal, as there is so many things I wanted to happen. Hope you enjoy!

Hosnian Prime, 27 ABY

_Lieutenant Dameron,_

_Your presence is requested at Starfighter Corps HQ at 1500 hours._

_Republic Command_

Poe frowned at his data pad; he had not expected a summons, and it was unusual to be called in at such short notice. He couldn't help but think he had done something wrong, but he thought long and hard and couldn't think of anything. Shrugging, Poe put the data pad away again and made for the changing rooms. He'd been working on his ship in the hanger when he had received the message, and he couldn't present himself to command covered in engine grease.

He showered quickly, put on a fresh uniform, and headed off to Starfighter Corps HQ. Poe got to the Colonel's office at exactly 1500 hours, and found him waiting for him there.

“Sir,” Poe said when he entered the room, snapping off a hasty salute.

“Thank you for coming so quickly, Lieutenant,” the Colonel said. He stood up and shook his hand, then gestured to the seat at the other side of his desk; giving him permission to sit. “I expect you're wondering why I call you here so suddenly.”

“Yes Sir,” Poe replied; trying not to sound too eager. He was very curious now, and the Colonel didn't seem to be angry, so maybe he really hadn't done anything wrong.

“There has been an increasing number of attacks coming from Hutt space, as I'm sure you're aware, and high command has informed me that our base in that sector is struggling to cope,” he said. Poe nodded, but didn't interrupt. Armitage was stationed on the base nearest to Hutt space, he couldn't help but think. “They have requested another squadron of x-wings and our best fighters to be transferred to them with immediate effect.”

Poe's eyes widened, but he forced himself not to gasp; the Colonel had not mentioned the name of the base yet, and he told himself not to get his hopes up. “We're forming a new squadron, which shall be named _Rapier Squadron_ , and we're asking you to lead it.”

“Me, Sir?” Poe asked; dumbstruck. A few minutes ago he thought he was in trouble, and now he was being promoted.

“You're one of our finest young pilots, Dameron, and it is my belief that you will make an excellent Commander,” the Colonel told him.

“Thank you, Sir,” Poe replied. The Colonel shook Poe's hand again and beamed at him.

“Congratulation, Commander. You will receive a full list of your new squad members within the next few hours, and you will be shipping out to the Mirrin Sector tomorrow.

The Mirrin Sector, 27 ABY

The previous Captain of _Memory of Alderaan_ had announced his retirement only a few days ago, and much to Armitage's surprise he had been chosen as his replacement. A Captain before the age of thirty, and of a capital ship no less, was a major achievement, and Armitage could hardly believe it. He didn't have much time to celebrate, however, as hours after taking up his new post the ship was under attack. These attacks coming from Hutt space had become more and more common these past few years, and they were struggling to keep up. The attacks themselves never posed a real threat to the ship, or the base they were protecting, but the sheer volume of them was starting to take its toll.

“Report,” Armitage barked to his radar officer.

“Three fast movers on intercept trajectory, Captain Hux. They appear to be modified freighters,” the officer said.

“Weapons?” he asked.

“Laser turrets, Sir,” she informed him.

“Deploy our fighters to intercept,” he ordered his second in command, “and give them cover with our turbolasers.”

“Yes, Sir,” the Commander said, already opening a comm channel to the hanger. Armitage looked out of the viewport and watched as a squadron of x-wings took off towards the incoming ships.

“Bring up the holo,” he ordered. One of his officers quickly pulled up a tactical holo of the battle, and projected it into the centre of the bridge. The two groups of ships were shown on an intercept course; they would soon be in firing rage of each other. Armitage clenched his fists as he watched their progress. Three outdated freighters should be no match for a fully armed squadron of republic starfighters _and_ a capital ship, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

A few seconds later an alarm rang out and the tactical showed a fast moving object had been launched from one of the attacking ships. “They're not in rage yet, what was that?” Armitage demanded.

“Ventral cannon, Sir,” an officer barked in response. Armitage's eyes widened; how did a freighter get that kind of tech? These were no mere pirates, no, ventral cannons were top-of-the-line military tech, and only a few ships in the Republic had them. A red light flashed on the holo as the cannon fire made contact with one of the x-wings; taking the shields and the ship out in one hit.

“All weapons, fire on the freighters!” Half a second after he gave the order, the sky lit up with laser fire, and one of the freighters fired it's canon in response; managing to get a target lock on a second x-wing. He cursed to himself as another fighter went down; they were down to three.

“Starting attack run,” said the voice of the squad leader over the comm. Finally, they were in range.

“Roger that, green leader,” one of the officers replied to him.

“Got one!” an officer from behind him called out; and sure enough one of the freighters had flashed to red on the holo to signify it had been disabled. The fighters had managed to bring down the shields, and the ship's turbo laser finished the job. Armitage breathed out a small sigh of relief, quiet enough that the other officers wouldn't be able hear. But there was no time to relax; there was still two more to go.

“Stay focused,” Armitage told the officer that had called out. The young officer's face reddened and he hunched over his work station. The three remaining fighters started another attack run, and Armitage watched in horror as the ventral cannon lit up again and took out another ship. He cursed under his breath, then marched over to the officer in charge of their turbo lasers.

“Why aren't our guns having any effect?” he asked.

The officer didn't take his eyes off the screen as he answered. “Their shields are much stronger than we're used to, and at this range we're not punching through.”

“Kriff,” Armitage cursed again. They needed to get closer, but in doing so it would bring them into effective range of the ventral cannons; risking the ship itself.

“Sir!” the comm officer called to him. Armitage spun on the spot to look at the officer in question. “We're getting a connection request from a Commander Dameron.”

Armitage froze on the spot; his eyes wide in shock. How could it be? Poe was stationed half a galaxy away, could he really be here? He composed himself quickly, hoping his crew hadn't noticed his moment of weakness. “Put them through,” he ordered.

–

"Commander Dameron here, heard you could use some assistance," Poe said over his comm to the cruiser. They had just dropped out of hyperspace and were only a few clicks out from _Memory of Alderaan,_ the ship they had been assigned to, but it seemed to be in trouble. Sensors told him that they were down to two x-wings, and they were having trouble taking down two old freighters. Odd, Poe thought, freighters should be no match for a Republic capital ship.

"This is Captain Hux of the Republic cruiser _Memory of Alderaan_ ," came the reply on his comm from a very familiar voice. _Armitage_. His heart jumped into his throat at the sound of his ex-boyfriend's voice. Poe hadn't heard that Armitage had made Captain, and he certainly hadn't heard that he was Captain of the ship his squad had been assigned to. He felt a sudden surge of pride, that was quickly swallowed up by worry. He couldn't let the attacking ships anywhere near _his_ Armitage, he wouldn't let anything happen to him. "We are under attack from heavily modified pirate vessels with military grade ventral cannons, and require immediate assistance."

A ventral cannon? On a freighter? That was completely unheard of; he'd never even seen such a weapon with his own eyes before, but he knew how much damage they could do. "Don't worry, Captain, we'll handle it," Poe replied to him. He wanted to reassure Armitage, but he didn't want to embarrass him on the bridge of his ship, so he kept his reply as professional as Armitage himself had been. "Setting course to intercept."

"Commander, we've managed to take down one enemy vessel but at the cost of three fighters," Armitage told him. To anyone else he would have sounded calm, but Poe knew him too well to be fooled by the façade.

"Understood, Captain," Poe said. He didn't want to disconnect from Armitage's comm, but he needed to focus on the attack, so he switched over to _Rapier Squadron_ 's private channel.

"Looks like we've got a fight on our hands guys," Poe told his squadron. He felt adrenaline starting to course through his veins at the prospect of the battle. "Attack formation, we need to get the hostile ships away from the remaining x-wings and neutralise them. We can't take a single hit from those cannons, so make sure to watch your six."

"We're with you Poe," Karé Kun replied, followed by affirmations from the rest of his pilots. The squad swooped into their attack run, drawing the enemy vessels away from the limping x-wings, and targeted the first freighter.

"Thanks for the assist, _Rapier_ leader," one of the pilots of the other fighters said over the comm.

"Get yourselves back to the ship, we've got this," Poe replied.

"Aye aye."

After attacks from all five of the fighters they managed to take down the enemy's shields; and after the second run the freighter exploded into flames that were quickly snuffed out by the vacuum of space. Poe whooped over the comm, and lined up for another run.

"One down, one to go," Poe told his pilots. They kept moving fast, gracefully dodging blasts from the enemy cannon, and took down the shields once again.

"Shields down!" Poe called out, after switching the comm back onto the open channel to the cruiser. A flash of green light blazed past them, and the cruiser's turbo lasers cut through the last freighter like butter.

"Good job, everyone," Poe told everyone on the open channel.

“Thank you for the help, _Rapier_ _Squadron_ , we are in your debt.” Armitage replied. “See you all on board.”

When Poe and his squad landed in the hanger of _Memory of Alderaan_ there was a small welcoming party waiting for them; and when they exited their fighters they gave them a round of applause. Some of the crew patted them on the back and thanked them, but he only had eyes for Armitage. He was standing at the front of the small crowd, looking as if he was trying not to smile _too_ brightly, and not doing a very good job of it. Poe wanted to run to him and kiss him until they ran out of air; but things weren't that simple. They hadn't had a proper conversation in years, and for all Poe knew Armitage could have moved on a long time ago.

“So good to have you on board,” Armitage said. Poe's heart raced as they shook hands; Armitage's hand was so soft and warm that he didn't want to let it go. Armitage blushed when the handshake went on for too long, and he coughed awkwardly. Poe let go of his hand and shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“I missed you,” Poe whispered, quiet enough that only the two of them could hear it. Armitage froze for a second, an unreadable expression on his face, and Poe thought he'd made a mistake.

“You should come to my ready room for a – umm – for a debriefing,” Armitage told him. With that he marched away, leaving Poe to hurry after him.

Hosnian Prime, 27 ABY

_Liar._

It was written on every one of her campaign posters, along with a spray-painted version on Vader's mask covering her own face. She supposed it was bound to come out eventually. Politics was a dirty game, and it shouldn't have been a surprise that her rivals would dig this deep to find some dirt on her. Still, she had made it for over twenty years without her most shameful secret being discovered, no one could blame her for thinking it would stay hidden forever.

Leia sighed heavily as she took down the poster on her office door and went inside. Her assistant, Korr Sella, had quit after hearing the news of her parentage, and she felt a pang of sadness when she remembered that she would never be in this office again. She couldn't blame the girl; while she was not around during Vader's time, the stories of him had lived on, as the evil of many a children's story. Besides, now that Leia had withdrawn her candidacy for First Senator, she would not longer need an assistant.

What she was worried about most, however, was Ben. Luke was convinced that he was in a bad place, and that he needed more help, and she dreaded to think of how he would react to hearing about his grandfather's identity. She should have told him sooner, she had meant to, but she had kept putting it off, not wanting to burden him with something so horrific. One thing was certain, she couldn't let him find out from the news feeds.

She sat down behind her desk and opened her holo recorder; but she had no idea what to say. Would he feel like she had lied to him, like she had let him down by not telling him? How could she tell him that she had been keeping a secret this big from him for over twenty years? She took a deep breath, then started to record her message.

New Jedi Order, 27 ABY

Luke knew something had to be done. He had tried so hard to understand what was happening with Ben; he could still sense something was terribly wrong, but he was no closer to actually figuring out what it was. More importantly, he didn't know how to make it better. Ben had taken the news of his relation to Vader very hard, and after he had finished listening to the message from his mother he had started smashing everything he could get his hands on. Luke had tried to calm him down, without success, and Ben only stopped the destruction when he had tried himself out. Afterwards Ben had fled back to his own hut and locked himself inside, not coming out again for the rest of the day.

Apart from the message for Ben about Vader, Leia had been sending him messages every other day now, asking him for updates, asking when Ben could come home. He didn't know how to tell her that he thought her son was dangerous. He was ashamed of how much of a failure he had become. Not for the first time, he wondered what Master Kenobi would have done, and longed for his advice.

That late night, after Ben had still not made an appearance, Luke decided to break his own rule. He had learnt long ago how to read people's minds, but after opening his Jedi academy he had vowed never to use this skill on his students. But he needed to see what was going on inside Ben's head, and his nephew had become so withdrawn that he could barely speak to him. No, this was the only way; a way to figure out once and for all if Ben was truly dangerous.

It couldn't wait until morning, if he waited that long he would lose his nerve and he'd never be able to do it. It would probably be better to do it while Ben was asleep anyway, there was no way Ben would agree to this if he were awake. As he walked over to Ben's hut he started to feel even more guilty, he knew deep down that what he was about to do was wrong, but he needed to know.

Luke quietly opened the door to Ben's hut, and was thankful that he found him asleep; Ben could never know what he was doing. He walked over to the bed and stood over his nephew, and for a second he just watched him, making sure that he was sound asleep. Once he had ascertained that he wouldn't wake up, he held up his hand and delved into his mind.

_A young Ben was sitting alone in his bedroom in Han and Leia's apartments, clutching the back of his head and muttering something to himself. Luke focused in on the memory, putting himself in Ben's place, and he could feel a phantom itch at the back of his own head. He could hear what Ben had been saying, as if he were speaking the words himself. 'Stop it,' he whispered, over and over again._

_Luke pulled away from the memory, and found another. Ben was older this time, and he was now aboard the_ Falcon _, arguing with his adoptive brother, Armitage. He could see the rage in his eyes when Armitage told him to go away. Focusing in again, Luke felt what Ben had felt in that moment; a surge of hatred, a roaring in his ears, and an overwhelming compulsion to strike out with his powers. The young Ben pulled Armitage's data pad away from him, and when the other boy ran over to retrieve the stolen item a blinding surge of emotion came over him; using it to push Armitage across the room and into the bulkhead. The teenager gasped out in pain and slumped to the floor._

_Another memory unfolded before him, and he saw Ben in the room Luke had given him when he had first arrived. It was night time, and the boy was curled up in bed, completely covered by a blanket, but Luke could hear quiet sobs coming from him, and could see his shoulders shaking. For a brief moment Luke was overwhelmed by a feeling of desperate loneliness; but before he could take it all in the image faded before his eyes._

_Luke couldn't see anything now, but he heard a horrific-sounding disembodied voice whisper 'kill her', and he got a brief flash of Ben's fight with Depa all those years ago. It was the fight that had made Kanan remove his daughter from his academy. The image was gone as soon as it appeared, and the next thing he saw was his academy on fire. This wasn't a memory, this was a vision._

_Again the image disappeared too quickly. The visions were streaming past him now; he saw his sister sobbing; a deformed humanoid creature in golden robes; the image of a man in an ominous looking helmet; whole planets on fire; the flash of a red blade; and Han falling into an endless abyss._

Luke gasped for breath as he pulled out of Ben's mind; his hands shaking. He was so distraught by what he had just seen, of everything they had worked so hard to build being destroyed, that without thinking he reached for his lightsaber and ignited it; ready to strike down the one would would threaten everyone he loved.

Suddenly his awareness came back to him, and the knowledge of what he had been about to do hit him like a punch to the chest. Looking at his saber, he felt burning hot shame flooding through him, and went to turn it off. Unfortunately it was at that very moment that Ben woke up. He rolled over and looked up at his master, and saw him armed and standing over him in the middle of the night. Luke knew what it must have looked like, and the expression on Ben's face was one of utter betrayal and incredible pain. A heartbeat later Ben's face morphed into one of rage, and he pulled his lightsaber into his hand to defend himself from the blow that Luke had almost meant to make.

“Ben, No!” Luke yelled. But his words fell on deaf ears. Ben raised his other hand and made a motion as if he were pulling something down. The sound of the roof of the hut caving in was the last thing he remembered.

The Mirrin Sector, 27 ABY

“I can't believe you're here,” Armitage said. “They told me we'd be getting more pilots, but I didn't imagine for a second that it would be you.”

Armitage stared at his ex-boyfriend, not wanting to take his eyes off him lest he disappear as suddenly has he had appeared. He wanted to kiss him, but it was too presumptuous; Poe had been the one who had broken up with him, he probably didn't want him like that any more. Poe smiled at him with that stupid gorgeous smile, and took a few steps closer. He was a captain of a warship, but just having Poe near him, having him look at him like that, turned him into a blushing schoolboy.

“You look good,” Poe said nonchalantly. Armitage coughed awkwardly and ran his hand through his hair. “A captain's uniform looks good on you.”

Armitage took an uncertain step forward and squeezed Poe's shoulder gently. “You really are here, aren't you?” he asked. “I wasn't knocked unconscious in the battle, and this is all a dream, and I'm going to wake up in chains in the brig of some grubby pirate ship?”

Poe raised an eyebrow as if to tell him he'd gone mad, then pulled him into a hug. Armitage melted into his arms, and bent over so he could nuzzle his face against Poe's neck. He smelt of sweat from the exertion of the fight, mixed with the underlying smell of his aftershave; it was uniquely Poe, and completely intoxicating. “It's okay, Tage,” Poe murmured.

They stood just like that for some time, with Poe rubbing soothingly at his back, and Armitage let the stress of the last few hours melt away. After a while Armitage came to his senses and pulled away rather suddenly, and Poe looked hurt as he backed away. “What's the matter?” Poe asked.

“You _dumped_ me,” Armitage told him, incredulously. “You can't come in here after all this time and act like nothing has happened.”

Poe looked down at his feet and nodded dejectedly. “You're right, of course you're right, I was just so excited to see you,” Poe said. He looked back up at Armitage uncertainly, and the pout on his face was so beautiful it made Armitage desperate to kiss him. But things weren't that simple. “Is there someone else?” Poe asked.

Armitage frowned. “No, it's not that,” he said. He didn't know what it was, but he couldn't just pick up from where they left off, as much as he had dreamed of that very thing. He didn't know how long Poe would be stationed out here, and if they had to break up again… he didn't think he could bare it. Getting Poe back only to lose him again would break him.

“I just need some time,” Armitage said at length.

“I understand,” Poe replied. He looked so sad, but resigned to Armitage's decision.

After Poe had left his ready room, Armitage collapsed into his chair; exhausted. He knew he was still in love with Poe, that in some way he'd always be in love with him, but life was rarely as simple as all that. He sat there for awhile, just staring across the table, stewing in his misery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what you think below! :)  
> Follow me on Tumblr, if you like, I'm ragdoll-hux there too.


	10. Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no time skip between chapters this time. Armitage and Poe have a heart-to-heart, Ben runs away from the destruction at the Jedi temple, and Luke gives Han and Leia some devastating news. 
> 
> _Armitage’s emotions about Poe’s return were incredibly conflicted. On the one hand he had missed his ex boyfriend intensely over the last few years, and his heart had sung with joy when he first saw him, so much so that he had been unable to stop hugging him for a full minute. However, it had been years, and the breakup had almost destroyed him; he couldn't bear to go through that again. He didn't even know how long Poe would be stationed on the ship, and they couldn't handle long distance._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a short nsfw scene.

The Mirrin Sector, 27 ABY

Armitage’s emotions about Poe’s return were incredibly conflicted. On the one hand he had missed his ex boyfriend intensely over the last few years, and his heart had sung with joy when he first saw him, so much so that he had been unable to stop hugging him for a full minute. However, it had been years, and the breakup had almost destroyed him; he couldn't bear to go through that again. He didn't even know how long Poe would be stationed on the ship, and they couldn't handle long distance.

The night after the battle, and Poe's return, he couldn't get to sleep, and spent half the night tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable. The adrenaline left over from the battle didn't help, and he couldn't stop playing through the events of the fight. For the first time in his career people under his command had been killed, and he couldn't help but blame himself. Maybe there was something he could have done to save them.

During his shift the next morning, while drinking excessive amounts of caf, Armitage received a comm from his superior officer back on Mirrin Prime. He answered the comm in his ready room and was greeted by a small holo version of the Fleet Admiral. “Captain Hux, due to losses sustained during your recent skirmish, Rapier Squadron will now be permanently transferred to your vessel. The transfer will be finalised within the hour.”

“Oh thank Gods,” Armitage whispered under his breath. He hadn't meant to say it; it just slipped out. Poe was going to stay, and he couldn't contain his joy, no matter how unprofessional it might have been. He just hoped that the Admiral had not heard him.

“I beg your pardon, Captain?” the Admiral asked, frowning.

“That is good to hear, Sir, we’ll put them to good use,” Armitage replied, in a much more controlled manner. 

“See that you do,” he said. Then cut the connection without further delay. They were all rather busy at the moment, and Armitage could not blame him for being curt. Still, Poe was going to be stationed on his ship indefinitely, and nothing could dampen his spirits now. He needed to talk to him as soon as possible, and figure out if they could really go back to how things were. Armitage wanted that more than anything, but things were rarely that simple. 

Armitage sent a message to Poe’s datapad, asking him to meet him in his private quarters that evening, and hoped he would come. He had rushed off rather quickly last time they saw each other, and he couldn’t help but wonder if Poe had been upset by that. He hadn’t been thinking of that at the time; only wanting to get away before his emotions got the better of him. 

When evening came around, Poe did show up at the requested time, and Armitage was so relieved when he heard the door sound. He straightened up his hair in the mirror, then decided against it and ruffled it back up again; Poe always did like his hair a bit looser. Then he answered the door. His heart sped up a fraction when he saw Poe standing there, looking uncharastically timid. He was dressed in off duty clothing, whereas Armitage still wore his uniform, minus the coat.

“Hey,” Poe said in greeting, then gave him a nervous smile. 

“Poe, c-come in,” Armitage replied; feeling rather nervous himself. It was strange to feel anxious around Poe; someone he had known since childhood; someone he used to trust more than anyone in the galaxy. He stepped aside to let Poe into the living area of his quarters, and gestured for him to take a seat. 

“I expect you’ve heard the news?” Armitage asked, as he sat down next to Poe.

“Yeah of course, I’m glad to be staying-” Poe sounded like he wanted to say more, but when he met Armitage's gaze he stopped talking and looked away uncomfortably. Armitage sighed; maybe he had hurt Poe’s feelings yesterday. He took Poe's hand into his own, which seemed to get his attention, and Poe smiled weakly at the gesture.

“If you’ve moved on, I understand,” Armitage told him; still holding Poe's hand and rubbing it with his thumb. “I certainly tried. But nothing I did made the ache of missing you go away; not having you in my life was like losing a piece of myself.”

“Armitage,” Poe whispered softly; awestruck. “I had no idea you were such a romantic.”

Armitage began to blush, and this time it was him who averted his gaze. This was a lot harder than he had thought it was going to be. Poe cupped Armitage's cheek with his free hand and tilted his head back up to look at him. “I’ve said too much,” Armitage mumbled.

“No,” Poe said firmly. “I’m so relieved to hear you say that, because I feel the same way. Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, and there hasn't been a day gone by when I didn't doubt my decision; my life has felt hollow without you.”

Armitage didn't know what to say; Poe's confession felt completely overwhelming, but he had to say something. “Is this the part where we kiss and make up?”

“Kriff I hope so,” Poe replied, smiling. Armitage didn't need any more encouragement than that, so he pulled Poe closer by the front of his jacket and kissed him hard; pouring his years of longing and need into the kiss. Poe gasped in surprise at Armitage's assertive move, then let himself melt into the kiss, moaning into the other man’s mouth.

“I love- you so- so much,’ Poe gasped between kisses. He wrapped one arm around Armitage's waist, pulling him in even closer, then used his free hand to run his fingers through that bright silky hair.

Without even breaking the kiss, Armitage maneuvered Poe onto his back on the sofa, and slotted his hips in between Poe’s thighs. Poe wrapped his legs around the other man’s waist to pull him in even closer, and gasped when their rapidly hardening cocks rubbed together. 

“Kriffing hell,” Armitage moaned; grinding his hips against Poe’s, and chasing the friction that he was suddenly desperate for. Poe’s eyes fluttered closed and his head fell back against the cushions as he gasped and moaned; his hips twitching in response to every one of Armitage’s thrusts, and leaving his neck open to attack. Armitage wasted no time in exploiting the opportunity, and started to kiss and bite at the exposed flesh.

“Oh Tage, please,” Poe cried out. He groped at the material at the back of Armitage’s uniform; holding on for dear life as he felt the tightness of a building orgasam inside him. He whined as he started to come in his pants; it felt sticky and uncomfortable, but so so right. Armitage was so turned on by watching Poe come like this, as if they were just teenagers again, that it didn’t take long before he was coming too; with his face buried against Poe’s neck to muffle his moans. 

Afterwards Armitage collapsed onto Poe’s chest, panting and trying and get his breath back. Poe was in a similar state, so he just let the other man lie on top of him. Armitage might have been the taller of the two, but his lithe frame meant that he was light enough lie there without causing Poe any trouble at all. 

After a few moments Poe started to chuckle; quietly at first, but quickly transforming into a full blown laugh. The laugh was so infectious that Armitage couldn’t help but join in. 

“Stop laughing!” Armitage exclaimed in mock outrage; slapping Poe’s arm playfully, with tears of laughter still in his eyes. 

“Ugh, I feel gross,” Poe complained; his beaming smile at odds with his words. What they had just done should have been humiliating, but Armitage couldn’t find it in him to feel embarrassed; not when Poe was smiling at him like that. Seeing that made the uncomfortable feeling of come drying in his pants completely worth it.

-

The Supremacy, 27 ABY

Ben knelt before an inhuman looking man; he was unnaturally tall and his face was disfigured. He had never met him before, and yet his presence felt so familiar, as if he had known him for all of his life. 

“You have done well, young Solo,” the man said to him. His voice made the hair at the back of his neck stand up, but the compliment did make him feel an odd sense of pride. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had told him he’d done a good job, and the thought made him angry again. “Bringing so many of your fellow Padawans to me is more than I could have hoped for.”

His thoughts switched to his fellow students, the ones that had believed him when he told them of Luke’s betrayal, the ones that had trusted him, the ones that had fought beside him. He had bought them with him on a stolen shuttle, and taken them to this enormous ship hidden in the unknown regions. Ben could not explain why he had been drawn here, or how he had known where to go, but something inside him knew this was the only place left to go. 

Once they had boarded they were greeted by military officers in black uniforms, flanked by soldiers dressed in an updated version of stormtrooper armour. The whole environment felt like being transported back to the civil war that his parents had spoke of so often, and it was rather unnerving. In response to an order from one of the officers, the troopers proceeded to split them up; Kylo had been taken to this place that looked oddly like a throne room, and the others were taken elsewhere. He had asked the officers where they were being taken, but they had refused to answer him.

“Do you know who I am?” the disfigured man asked. Ben shook his head; which wasn't entirely the truth. He had an impression of who he was, but nothing solid. The man smirked at that. “Search your feelings, Ben Solo, you know who I must be.”

Ben stared at the man, his mind working quickly, trying to figure it out. It was in that moment that he felt a very familiar feeling; a dark scratching sensation at the base of his skull. Ben gasped, not out of discomfort, but out of realisation. It was him, the voice, the only stable presence in his unstable life.

“Yes, that’s it. I am Supreme Leader Snoke, and I am here to help you achieve the _true_ potential of your bloodline,” Snoke told him. He stood up from his throne and approached Ben, moving as if every step caused him great pain, but the force practically danced around him. Snoke placed his hand on the kneeling Ben Solo’s head, and the dark feeling suddenly felt like it were about to swallow him whole.

Ben wanted to move away, to get this creature’s hand off him, but he found himself unable to move; he couldn’t even move his mouth enough to speak. The feeling was completely horrifying, and it made him feel so powerless. Soon he could feel the force trying to pry inside his mind, the way it had done the night before, when Luke had come to his bedroom to spy on his thoughts. 

But this time he was conscious; this time he could put up his mental barriers and fight back. Concentrating with everything he had, Ben started to push Snoke out of his mind; but the old force user was stronger, and the more he fought, the more painful it became. 

“Let go, give yourself to me,” Snoke said menacingly. He couldn’t tell if it had been said aloud, or directly into his mind. “I can help you achieve powers far greater than you could ever imagine. Powers that would rival even those of your grandfather; Darth Vader himself. It is your destiny.’

He was losing focus, the pain from trying to fight back was overwhelming, it hurt so much that he must have been screaming; he just wanted to give in. He needed this power for himself, the ability to hold someone completely at his mercy, the very idea of it so so enticing. He wanted to show everyone who had ever crossed him what he could do. This dark power had always been inside him, a genetic gift from a grandfather his parents had pretended didn't exist; they had lied about it for his entire life and for that he could never forgive them. This Snoke could help him, he could do what his treacherous uncle could not; he could show him how to harness the darkness. He only needed to do one thing: let go.

Ben let down his guard all at once, and the darkness engulfed his mind, tearing through his memories, his hopes, his fears, his deepest and most personal thoughts. He forced himself not to struggle, to let it happen, and it didn't hurt anymore. After a few minutes it was over, and Snoke's hold on his body finally lifted; leaving him to crumble to the floor in exhaustion.

“Very good,” Snoke crooned as he stood over him. Ben struggled to push himself back up with shaking arms, and managed it just in time to watch Snoke return to his throne. 

“Yes, you will be a most worthy apprentice,” Snoke continued; looking at him thoughtfully. “Swear to serve me, and I will teach you what you wish to know. Serve me and you shall have a purpose.”

Ben felt a sickening excitement at the idea of so much power, mixed with the fear of being put through that mental torture again if he refused. There was only one choice. He was already on his knees, so he simple bowed his head as spoke. “I pledge myself to you, Master Snoke, and I will serve you loyally.”

“From here on out, you shall be known as Kylo Ren, Apprentice to the Supreme Leader,” Snoke announced. Ben could see the logic of a change of name, it wouldn't do to have the members of his new master’s army knowing of his parentage. 

“Arise, Kylo Ren,” Snoke finished. Ben got to his feet with some difficulty, and found that his legs were shaking too. The whole ordeal had really taken it out of him, and he hadn't slept since the confrontation with Luke. He hoped that Snoke wouldn't require much more from him before he could sleep. Would he even have anywhere to sleep? 

“Private quarters have already been prepared for you,” Snoke told him, as if he were reading his mind. Actually, he probably still was. “I will allow you to sleep, before your training begins.”

“Thank you, Master,” Kylo replied. 

\---

The next day Kylo woke up from a fitful sleep to the sound of a panel buzzing inside his new sleeping quarters. It took him a moment to realise that it was someone on the other side of the door requesting entrance. Frowning, Kylo stumbled towards the panel, dressed only in a vest and sleeping shorts, and answered the alert. The screen changed to a view of the outside, where an older looking man stood dressed in an officer's uniform. He was slightly overweight, with fading red hair and an air of self-importance that Kylo immediately disliked. 

“What are you doing here?” Kylo asked into the comm. 

“I am here at the request of the Supreme Leader himself,” the man answered; his tone laced with malice. Kylo looked at his state of undress, and found he didn't really care, so he opened the door. The man marched into the room as if he owned the place, all but ignoring Kylo, then dropped a bag onto his unmade bed. 

“Who are you?” Kylo asked, bewildered. The man whirled around and stood to attention, looking at Kylo with disdain.

“I am General Brendol Hux of the First Order,” he said; clearly proud of the title. _Hux_. Kylo thought. _That was not a common name._ “I have been requested to provide you with an orientation of the ship and the order itself.”

“Right. So what's the bag for?” Kylo asked.

“The bag, Mr Ren, contains your new attire. The rags you arrived here in were not appropriate, and the Supreme Leader had these made for you.” 

Kylo opened the bag and saw black clothing, made from a more hardy looking material than General’s uniform.

“There are also some items there to attend to your personal-” Brendol paused for a second; looking Kylo up and down and clearly judging his unkempt appearance, -grooming.”

Kylo felt the muscle under his right eye twitch in irritation; he really did not like this man. Who was he to judge him? He had no idea of what Kylo had done, and what he was capable of. Kylo stood glaring at the General for an uncomfortable amount of time, but Brendol just met his gaze, apparently unfazed. The stare off lasted far too long, and Kylo had to break the silence.

“You want to watch me get changed or something?” Kylo sneered. That wiped the smug look off his face. 

“Your orientation will start in fifteen minutes,” Brendol said. He turned and marched back towards the door, “and not a moment later!”

Once the General had gone Kylo huffed out a sigh and dropped his shoulders. The very short confrontation had left him tired and irritated; it wasn't exactly a great start to his new life. But no matter, he wasn't here to make nice with pathetic little men like Brendol Hux; he had a destiny to fulfill. 

-

Hosnian Prime, 27 ABY

Han and Leia had not left their apartments all day; in fact they had hardly even left the bed. The grief they had felt after finding out the news from Luke had rendered them almost incapable of functioning. All they could do was sob and cling to each other, and when they were too exhausted to sob anymore they had fallen into an uneasy slumber. But Leia found no peace in that either; her dreams were plagued with visions of her precious boy attacking her brother, destroying the temple, and killing his fellow students.

Her dreams twisted into visions of her son on his knees before an inhuman figure, shrouded in darkness. She watched in horror as Ben was frozen in place by an invisible force, and the figure touched her son’s head; causing him to scream in agony. Leia yelled and jerked awake, sitting bolt upright in bed and breathing hard.

“What is it, what's wrong.” Han asked. He sounded panicked, having woken up to the sound of his wife's scream. 

“I saw him,” Leia gasped. 

“Who, Ben?” Han prompted. “Do you know where he is?”

“I don't know where he is, but I saw him,” Leia explained. “Someone was hurting him, Han, torturing him with the force.” 

Han rubbed Leia’s back with his hand, trying to calm her down. “You’re sure it was a vision and not a nightmare?” he asked gently.

“I know the difference, Han!” Leia snapped. Han raised his hands in surrender. “I didn't just see it, I _felt_ it. I recognised Ben’s signature in the force, and it was crying out in distress.”

“This force user that was hurting him, did you recognise them?” Han asked hesitantly.

“I recognised their presence, but I never saw their face,” Leia told him. It was difficult to explain to someone who couldn't connect to the force like she could. How could she tell Han now, after all this time, that she and Luke had felt a foreign presence surrounding Ben for his whole life. A presence that could well be connected with a powerful force user intent on using Ben’s powers for their own nefarious purposes. It had felt like such an absurd idea at the time that worry Han with it seemed unnecessary, but after Leia’s vision she was now convinced they had been right.

“Maybe I’m just going crazy,” Leia lied; falling back into bed. Han gathered her up into his arms and held her tightly once more. There was nothing they could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone so much for reading. I think this fic will be ending soon, like in another chapter or two, and I really appreciate all the comments and kudos I've received, it means a lot to me. I am considering doing a sequel to this, retelling the story of The Force Awakens in my Alternative Universe, as I still have loads of ideas. Please let me know if you'd be interested in that, and as always any comments on this chapter would be super encouraging. :)


	11. The Broadcast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage and Poe enjoy being back together; but their happiness is interrupted all too soon. Meanwhile, Kylo struggles to settle in on Snoke's flagship. 
> 
> Excerpt: _For the first time in a long time, Armitage woke up feeling relaxed and warm, with the love of his life in his arms. He had thought once that he could get over Poe Dameron, that his life wouldn't feel empty without him, but now he had him back he realised how wrong he’d been. Poe snored softly with his face pressed against his chest, and an arm flung casually around his waist. Armitage looked over at the chronometer and knew that he had to get up soon, but the idea of leaving the bed right now felt almost impossible. They had a few more minutes, he could afford to watch Poe sleep for a while longer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished the chapter! I re-wrote this about five times but I'm now basically happy with it, I don't know why I struggled with it so much. Anyway, I hope you like it.

The Mirrin Sector - 27 ABY

For the first time in a long time, Armitage woke up feeling relaxed and warm, with the love of his life in his arms. He had thought once that he could get over Poe Dameron, that his life wouldn't feel empty without him, but now he had him back he realised how wrong he’d been. Poe snored softly with his face pressed against his chest, and an arm flung casually around his waist. Armitage looked over at the chronometer and knew that he had to get up soon, but the idea of leaving the bed right now felt almost impossible. They had a few more minutes, he could afford to watch Poe sleep for a while longer.

Sooner than Armitage would have liked his alarm went off, and Poe started to stir. Resigned to having to get up, Armitage flicked the switch to silence the alarm, then slumped back into bed with a sigh. 

“Mornin’ babe,” Poe murmured; his voice thick with sleep. Hux stroked Poe’s hair, pushing it out of his eyes, then leaned in to kiss him. Poe sighed, and kissed him back leisurely. After a while Hux reluctantly pulled away. 

“I have to get ready for my shift,” he said with a sigh. Hux started to get out of bed, but Poe pulled him back down to give him another kiss. 

“Okay, you can go now,” Poe said. “I wouldn't want to keep the Captain from his duty.” He grinned as he as gave Armitage a mock salute. Armitage laughed; shoving him playfully, before he got up and headed for the fresher. 

The Supremacy - 27 ABY

Kylo Ren woke up suddenly, his heart racing, the shadow of a barely remembered dream lingering in his consciousness. He looked around in confusion for a moment, until he remembered where he was. After a few calming breaths he got out of the hard military bed, then made his way to the fresher. 

Everything about the ship was alien to him; the severe angles; the hard metal wherever you looked; and the black floors polished to such a sheen that he could see his own reflection in it. It couldn't have been more different to the dilapidated Jedi temple that had housed Luke’s academy. He found a strange comfort in that. 

Once he had washed, he dressed in the simple black robes that had been given to him by the general the night before, then checked the chronometer. He shrugged; he was only five minutes late, it couldn’t hurt. He exited his quarters and only just managed to stop himself jumping back in alarm at the sight of the general standing just outside, scowling at him.

“You’re late,” Brendol barked. “Just as expected.”

“It's just five minutes,” Kylo said as nonchalantly as he could manage, and finished it off with a shrug. He may have been caught off guard this time, but he wouldn't give the miserable old man the satisfaction of seeing him rattled.

“I am your superior officer, and you will show me some respect.” Brendol sneered at Kylo, and it made him want to use the force to smash his face into the floor. 

Kylo made himself calm down, and managed to resist the violent impulse; it was his first day in this new world, and he didn't know how his new master would react to him assaulting one of his generals. Instead he said nothing; just stared at Brendol with contempt and waited him out. Kylo guessed that the delay to the general's tightly organised schedule would force him to break first, and he was right. 

“Let's get on with it then,” Brendol huffed; clearly annoyed. Kylo smirked at his small victory as he followed the general at a quick pace down the immaculate corridor.

As they walked Brendol talked constantly, regaling him with statistics of the ship and its complement of highly trained troopers. But Kylo mainly tuned it out. He wasn't interested in learning about the First Order and whatever war they were planning for; he was only here to learn more about the dark side of the force, the things that his traitorous uncle had forbidden him to study.

While the long winded tour continued Kylo thought again on the general's obvious relation to his adopted brother. He wasn't sure he had got it right the night before, but after seeing him this morning he was now convinced. The similarity in their appearance wasn't immediately obvious, the man before him was old and flabby, but the family resemblance was definitely there. This was Armitage's birth father, the one who had left him behind to be discovered by new republic forces, and later bought into his home before he himself was even born. But what to do with this information? He could taunt Brendol with the information that his own son fought for his enemies; which would certainly be an amusing way to get one over on the insufferable man. Alternatively, he could hold it back for when he truly needed to get under his skin. He could tell that Brendol might become a problem to him, so waiting to use this information seemed like the best idea.

“Have you been listening?” Brendol snapped. 

“Not really, no,” Kylo replied. 

“Well, since you insist on showing me nothing but disrespect, I’ll end the tour early and bring you straight to our Supreme Leader.”

“Fine by me,” Kylo said, as he glowered at the other man. Brendol smirked as if he knew something Kylo didn't, and there was something about it that made Kylo's stomach turn.

“I’m sure your new master will be more tolerant of disrespect than I,” Brendol quipped. 

-

A feeling of dread fell over Kylo as he entered his new master's throne room, but he tried not to show it. Not that it was possible to hide anything from Snoke. 

He knelt on the floor with his eyes cast downwards, not daring to make eye contact with the supreme leader.

“Master,” Kylo said after an agonising moment of silence. 

“Arise, my young apprentice,” Snoke told him. Kylo did as he was told, and looked up at his master, who lounged on his throne. “General Hux has informed me that you were not interested in touring the ship. He may be a sniveling curr, but he has his uses, and I did order you to tour the ship. Do you have a problem following my orders?”

Kylo felt ice flow through his veins; he had made a mistake. “I- well I just didn't see the purpose of it, master,” Kylo said, with a quiver of fear in his voice that he could not suppress. 

Snoke got to his feet and slammed his hands down onto the arm rests of his throne; making the whole room tingle with electricity that had yet to be unleashed. Kylo flinched at the sudden outburst, his heart hammering in his chest. “It is not your place to question your master's orders,” Snoke growled. Kylo averted his gaze once more. 

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!” Kylo felt Snoke take hold of his head with the force, then yank it upwards; making him look at his master. Snoke didn’t release him immediately, and for a moment the pressure around his skull became almost unbearable. In that moment Kylo knew that Snoke could crush his skull if he so desired, and it terrified him. 

“You are a spoilt, ungrateful child,” Snoke said calmly when he released Kylo’s head. He sat back down in a way that looked as if he was in pain, but trying to hide it. “I have given you the opportunity for true greatness, but you are yet to achieve it. To gain the power you crave, you must submit yourself to your master. You must work harder than you have ever worked before.”

“I understand, master,” Kylo said. He had come so far, had sacrificed so much; if he didn’t achieve the power he sought, then everything he had done would have been for nothing. “I’ll do whatever you ask.” 

Snoke’s face twisted into an unnerving approximation of a smile.

Hosnian Prime - 27 ABY

“I can't do this anymore, Leia,” Han said; agitated as he paced up and down in front of his wife. “Living in the house where we raised our son, being reminded every day of what happened, I can't take it anymore.”

“Han-” Leia replied. She wanted to comfort him, but she didn't know what else to say, and she had learnt from experience that it was better to give Han time to talk through his problems.

“I don't have anything to do here, I’m about as useful as banta shit. I should be out there trying to find our son.”

Leia opened her mouth to speak, to rehash the arguments they had already had a thousand times before; but Han hadn't finished. 

“If Ben’s still alive then he’ll be trying to avoid the Republic, and who knows more about avoiding the authorities than me? I need to get in touch with my old contacts, I need to be _out there._ ” Han gestured to the night sky outside the window of their apartments; the stars hardly visible above the bright lights of Hosnian Prime.

“I want our son back too, and if you think this is our best chance to find him then I won't stop you,” Leia said. Han let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding in. He didn't want to leave Leia; he still loved her with all his heart, but he loved his son too, and he needed him now. 

“I'll find him, Leia,” Han said. “I promise.”

The Mirrin Sector - 27 ABY

_For too long has this galaxy been held hostage by traitors. The so-called New Republic plays at governance, while some of its citizens still live in chains, while the criminal elements run amok in the outer rim. Even now they continue to lose territory to the Hutts. The demilitarization of their fleets, a policy spearheaded by the soft-hearted Chancellor Mothma, has left it’s people open to attack by the scum and villainy of the galaxy. The truth of the matter, a truth your cowardly politicians have hidden from you, is that only a true, strong military can protect you. We, the First Order, are the only ones who can offer you this protection._

Armitage stood on the bridge, frozen in place and staring at the space where the holo had just been. One of his officers tried tentatively to get his attention; but he didn't respond, his mind was too busy trying to process what he had just seen. It wasn't possible; it just couldn't be. But there it was, written underneath his image. General Brendol Hux; his father. A little fatter than he remembered, and with more grey in his hair, but it was definitely him. 

“Captain!” 

Armitage finally snapped out of his stupor. He looked around him to find that the entire crew was watching him. 

“Are you okay, Sir?” asked Commander Norton, his second in command. She looked worried. 

“I am perfectly fine, Commander,” Armitage replied flatly. “I'll be in my ready room if anyone needs me. You have the bridge.”

“Yes, Captain.” She snapped off a formal salute, but she sounded confused. Armitage marched off the bridge without looking back. 

-

Poe rushed out of the mess hall to find his lover as soon as the broadcast ended. The man in the holo had looked familiar the second he popped up, but the caption had confirmed it. 

When he walked into Armitage's ready room he found him sitting by himself; staring into space. Poe rushed to his side and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. 

“He can't hurt you,” Poe murmured. 

“He has an army,” Armitage replied; his voice oddly devoid of emotion. 

Poe held Armitage's shoulders out in front of him and looked into his eyes, trying to make eye contact. “We don't know that. We don't know anything right now.”

“We're under-armed and under-funded. And he’s right; we're losing the battle with the Hutts. If a large enough military force came in and challenged us now they'd crush us.” 

“There's no way they could build a fleet that big without us knowing about it,” Poe insisted. But Armitage didn't look convinced.

“I wish I had your optimism,” Armitage said. He smiled at Poe in a resigned kind of way, and stroked a hand over his cheek. 

“Come on, you're taking the rest of the shift off,” Poe informed him. Armitage let himself be pulled to his feet and led towards the door.

“All right,” Armitage sighed. 

They walked quickly to Armitage’s quarters, with Poe leading the way, pulling him along by the hand. If anyone they passed by thought the sight of their captain being pulled along by a pilot was odd, nobody spoke up. 

When they were alone in Armitage’s quarters they both laid down on the bed, with Poe tucked in behind and his arms wrapped tightly around his lover. 

They stayed like that for a long while, not talking, just finding comfort in each other's arms, and eventually they must have fallen asleep. A while later Poe was jolted awake by the sound of Armitage’s datapad chiming a message alert. Armitage sat bolt upright and snatched the datapad from the bedside table. Poe leaned up on his arm to watch the message. 

“ _Captain Hux, we have received your request for information on our investigation into the First Order threat,_ ” said the holo of a New Republic comm officer. Poe glanced briefly at Armitage, then back to the hologram. When did he find the time to make a formal request? 

“ _It is understood that you have a personal interest in this matter,_ ” the officer continued. “ _However, we must inform you that your request has been denied. Further information is restricted, only officers who possess the necessary security clearance may access it. We apologise for the inconvenience.”_

Poe flinched when Armitage threw his datapad across the room; smashing it against the wall. 


End file.
